.

On December 18, 2009, Grace Bahati stood out among all the girls she was in competition with and took the title of Miss Rwanda. That is very humbling seeing as this country is flooded with beautiful women. The pageant remained inactive after Miss Bahati, leaving her with the title till the next queen is crowned – which is this September. However, what she won’t be allowed to do is actually hand over the crown. Apparently a representative will be assigned to do it for her. But that is not because she is unavailable for the coronation ceremony or in hospital suffering from some fatal illness – she had a baby out of wedlock and that is (from what I understand) a taboo in Rwanda. What a load of tripe! I don’t want to disrespect anyone or come off as an activist for pre marital babies but someone needs to take some of these taboos and shove them where the sun don’t shine. Excuse my French. In this day and age, how can one still be judged because she has a baby but no ring on her finger?What is it with people and marriage anyway? The whole institution is a joke. If there is one place I have seen people get married faster than in Hollywood, its Rwanda. Within two minutes of sharing a milkshake at Bourbon, wedding meetings are scheduled. Don’t get me wrong, get married if you want, it’s your life. If it works, good for you, if it doesn’t - well – next time try not to do it because it is the in thing to do. Miss Bahati held that title from 2009 for Pete’s sake. Is it her fault that the pageant failed to get sponsors before she could start a family? Are they saying children born out of wedlock are cursed or won’t succeed in life? And here I was thinking only God had the right to judge!The girl has a life, and she is an adult on top of that. Technically, her reign ended after a year. Was she supposed to put her life on hold till someone eventually decided to bring Miss Rwanda back? She moved on in life, had her little bundle of joy and when she is truly ready to commit to her man (that is what marriage means) then she will get married.The only people who cheat more than a fat person eating a cheese burger and washing it down with diet coke are married people. Why get married if you are going to cheat on your spouse more times than can be remembered? Why get married and have kids only to drag them into your bitterness as a couple, fighting every night and going through embarrassing divorces?Marriage is just a piece of paper saying two people are together. That’s it – nothing more nothing less. You can’t expect every woman to sit and watch her life pass her by because she is waiting for a man to propose to her and then have kids. What if it doesn’t happen? If someone has a child, I don’t think the biggest concern is whether or not she is married – is she capable of raising this baby? Men walk around the place impregnating everything that has a uterus but somehow, women take the fall. It’s a damn shame. Some taboos are just outdated Let people get married when they want to, and not because everyone is counting on it. As for Miss Rwanda, give the girl the chance to pass on something she has held for the last three years or so. She earned it – I think not letting her hand over the crown is a way to tarnish her memory instead of letting her go with some respect.