With just three months left to the end of the year, you could be wondering how time flies, but looking back, are you in a place of fulfilment? Can you say it has been one of the best years so far? Do you feel stagnant in life, for instance; career, relationships, or perhaps feel demotivated or unhappy since you haven’t achieved a lot? The good news is that it is never too late to start something you’ve always wanted to do, but how? Louise Mukabalanga, a businesswoman, notes that the last five months have been her worst, however, she couldn’t put a finger on what was draining her energy in particular, until last week. She says she distanced herself from friends and family and decided to have some alone time. While away, she realised that she wasn’t happy because she gave more time and energy to people than she got in return. “I felt empty and I couldn’t pour from an empty cup anymore. People want you to give, give and give—they’re always on the receiving end. I am that person who would pause anything to just be there for friends in any way, even just spending time with them. But recently, when I lost a loved one, I didn’t see my friends attend the vigil, comfort me or even come for burial—people are busy, busy with work, busy chasing their future, busy making money, busy with themselves. I have got to be a little selfish and care about me first, for once,” she says. Mukabalanga adds that having a moment to herself opened her eyes to the kind of person she wants to be. She jotted down a few things she wants to drop henceforth, and things to accomplish. For a long time, Mukabalanga was trying so hard to please others, which is why she wants to invest in herself, for instance, she signed up for the gym because she doesn’t feel comfortable with her weight, a thing, she says, that plays with her confidence. She is revamping her energy to start her own business after three years of postponing, and looks forward to having a holiday at least once every three months. Mukabalanga has no doubt that true happiness and a fresh start begins from polishing oneself and noticing areas that require change and improvement, and even taking a step to do so. Irene Gakumba, a counsellor, says that the reason some people are full of rage and anger or negativity is because they are still locked up in the past. She believes that getting better in most cases requires learning to leave the past behind, whether you were hurt or broken—forgive and move on for your well-being. She points out that people ought to cut off what makes them feel low, for instance, people with toxic habits, or people who are not productive, and instead surround oneself with people that believe in you or have similar values with. “But also, do activities, and visit places that give you joy,” she says. Gakumba recommends reading books that shed light on the situation you’re going through, because reading is part of therapy. Sometimes, there is joy in replacing old things with new ones, if you find yourself keeping things that are not in use, chances are your space will be boring. This is why it’s advisable to give away clothes, shoes, and home appliances that are not in use, Gakumba says, noting that it may give you a reason to even buy new things. Experts emphasise that in order to improve your life, you must break free from the limitations, look for any hidden opportunities that will come out of the change as you learn how to start over, fashion a plan to achieve the change you want to make, and develop motivation and positive habits that will keep you on track.
