Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who was with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, as his birth records were lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons like knowing when to come in out of the rain or why the early bird gets the worm. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer paracetamol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant or wanted to have an abortion. He began to lose the will to live as churches became businesses; alternative treatments became available on the NHS (while cancer drugs were banned) and criminals received better treatment than their victims. The poor bloke took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar ended up suing you for assault. He was bludgeoned to death, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. This grand old man was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not join the majority and do nothing.
