Absolutely not! Okay for those who are not in the know, there is something women are familiar with called the girl code. This code states that ex boyfriends are just off limits to friends. Honestly, I think there should be a boy code too. Guys are a lot more ‘easy’ when it comes to these issues. Sure it may bother them at first but they learn to let it go. With women, there is no such thing as letting it go. Guaranteed the friendship will be officially ruined. She will curse and make snide remarks every time the infamous couple comes within even 10 feet of her. She will make sure that their whole circle of friends understands the broken rule and therefore are not allowed to even glance at her. It’s just how it is. And why shouldn’t it be that way? I mean of all people out there worth dating, why go for someone who once dated a friend? It’s really awkward not to mention disrespectful. Anyone brave enough to date a friend’s ex can’t assure me that the friendship means anything to them. Besides, if it never worked out with them what makes you so sure it will for you? You know that awkward moment when you have a misunderstanding with the guy and it’s your friends’ shoulder you cry on? Men however are another story all together. Somehow their brotherhood is never left to ruins. It’s still discomfited I guess but nothing life threatening. They’ll be back to their usual hangout enjoying beer and soccer while the girl sits there gawkily. Okay I’m not saying it’s the worst thing to do but it’s for friendships sake. Not that you need permission but to try and salvage at least a fraction of that friendship, try talking to the friend first. Let them know you care and that you are not sneaking around or being dishonest in anyway. Just going for it gives the impression that you were already sneaking around behind their back and that is the worst kind of betrayal. My humble advise is to just steer clear of anything or anyone who will come between you and a mutual friend. Men and women come and go, but true friendship is so much easier to keep. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk
