Diaspoman: A dose of poverty has its pros and cons

Now that some doses of poverty have finally visited Aggrey’s pockets, I have learnt how to adjust accordingly. The recession bug has been seriously biting away at my main man and that is why he no longer even lends me his car whenever I want to impress my SFB colleagues. Before things became monkey for Aggrey, he used to allow me drive his Jeep as he rested at his Nyarutarama home. I would then cruise around town and really show off. Then I would head towards SFB so that the chicks could ogle at this super turbo vehicle. Occasionally, I would give them a lift in the master blaster jeep. Of course I couldn’t confess to them that the car was a ‘borrow-borrow’. I would convince them that my side business in town was generating so much cash for me and that is how I could afford to buy such a beauty. And then we would kick off on a high with the ladies as we hit the road towards Gashora. The fuel gauge was always showing the ‘full’ sign so I could afford to drive upcountry for mini-picnics. Obviously Aggrey could not tell that I had driven all the way to Gashora. I would just send him an SMS to inform him that I was stuck at Sopetrad in a traffic jam. At Gashora we would visit the lakeside where we crushed some nice African food plus a few beers. After an hour we would speed back to SFB. It took us about 30 minutes to enter Kigali. Having dropped them off at campus, I would go and park the jeep at home as Aggrey watched CNN news. This was the kind of life that I was enjoying until Aggrey’s finances began to dwindle. Aggrey has been cutting costs seriously and instead of his usual visits to Serena or Golf club, he has been investing in overcoats and cowboy hats. The cowboy hats help him shield his face as he sneaks in and out of the Migina pubs just across the National Stadium at Remera. By visiting these spots, he ends up saving some little cash. For me, it’s been a blessing in disguise as I have been serving as an escort to Aggrey. Since he fears to frequent such places all by himself, he is always begging me to go along with him. And in the process, my tummy has been the overall winner as it sucks in all tribes of booze at the Migina pub. But in terms of my image at SFB, I have lost. I’ve not been seen cruising in the Jeep since Aggrey slapped some sanctions on me. Now, I just hop onto a motorbike, commonly referred to as ‘moto’. My so called girlfriend at SFB has been quizzing me about my vehicle “Ah, you see my dear, sometimes it is good to park the car and exercise our muscles. One needs to walk more often” Having convinced her that walking was a necessary thing to do, we started to take strolls in and around Gikondo. But as I quickly found out, it was not so easy walking these long distances. Actually, she appeared to enjoy it more than ever. As for me, my body just couldn’t cope with the long distances. I pretended to be enjoying these walks, climbing the Gikondo hill all the way to the top. I would be panting and struggling to pull myself together. As for her, she was so fit and could also afford to jog along the road. This was real torture! As I was on the verge to surrender my pride, the gods answered my prayers. One day, we were walking in the Gikondo neighborhood and it had been raining so heavily. We were in the areas which have not yet received tarmac roads. The potholes in the road had been filled by muddy water. Then from nowhere, a truck approached us at breakneck speed along the road. The truck then drove straight through the water filled potholes and in the process splashed my girl from head to toe. She was soaked! She swore never take walks again. “If you don’t bring back your car, then we are through!” As for me, I was happy that the potholes had saved my aching body… diaspoman@yahoo.com