The Ombudsman’s latest report has left many in a state of panic. Cases of mismanagement and abuse of office have been exposed and the culprits will have to answer to the charges. I think this is a good move in terms of checks and balances. Officials will have to be more careful while executing their duties. A lot has changed over the years! I mean, during the mid 90s, there were hardly any controls in place at offices. For example, when Aggrey and I had obtained some jobs at an NGO way back, we just used to take things for granted. Our pipe smoking expatriate who used to spend his day snoozing in his tent, never bothered to check whether we were not abusing the systems at the workplace. But when his superiors in Europe sent through some auditors, they discovered that there had been gross mismanagement and this was followed by a serious red card for our boss. A new country manager was sent to us immediately! So, when we received the new boss, things became different. A payroll system was introduced immediately. The new boss also put a halt to salary payments in form of US dollars. Instead, we started to receive salaries in Rwanda francs. She scrapped off all other allowances such as overtime payment and entertainment allowances. As a result Aggrey and I soon became as poor as church mice. That is why we started hatching up lousy plans to help us survive the new life. We used old newspapers and fake bunch of keys to visit restaurants for free food. Whenever the waiters saw our papers and keys at the tables, they would imagine that we were still around. The truth of the matter is that we would have crushed all the food and marched out without paying a penny. This lifestyle was not one that we could really sustain. So we decided that our new boss had to go by all means. We decided to attempt everything so that our old boss could return! Was that really going to happen? Only time would tell. Anyways, we continued to strive on and tried to make ends meet. Then during the month of December, we approached our new boss and explained to her that in the tradition of the NGO, we always threw an end of year party! We told her that the end of year parties were held in posh places such as the Meridian Hotel or Mille Colline Hotel. What was the budget? Oh? Not more than one million francs. “What? Are you crazy? Do you think this is an entertainment company! The only budget I can offer is fifty thousand francs!” Phew! This new chief was such a misery lady! Fifty thousand francs only? Anyways, Aggrey and I were then told to look for a place where we could have an evening out for about Rwf 50,000. The only place which could fit the bill was at a pub situated in Remera at a place called Migina. This was just below the Amahoro stadium. It was a place which was well known for roasting a special kind of meat called Michope. We made the necessary bookings and arrangements for the evening out. We duly informed the boss who promptly authorized the deal. Come D-day! We headed to Migina for the mega party. But before we started the occasion, Aggrey and I dashed to the kitchen to strike a deal with the cooks. We told them to prepare a special kind of Michope which would serve two purposes. The first purpose was to burn our boss’s mouth with lots of red pepper. The second purpose was to create a serious battle in our boss’s stomach. The cooks agreed to carry out the mission free of charge. So, it was time for the speeches. Our new boss gave a short speech emphasizing on cost cutting. “That is why we have not gone to the big hotels this year. We have to cut costs at all costs!” He he he, what she did not know is that she was going to pay in kind. So, when the Michope finally arrived, the red pepper burned her lips like there was no tomorrow. Within a few minutes, her stomach had started to rumble in the jungle! Her face became pale. She was very sick! Before long, she was being stretchered off to a waiting car outside which sped off straight to the hospital. As for us, we cheered on in happiness. The dictator had faced her own music. All we could pray for was for our new boss to give up and go back to where she had come from… diaspoman@yahoo.com
