A few weeks ago, I narrated how Aggrey and I hatched a nice plan to discourage our new boss from sticking around. Yes, we worked out fervently on getting the boss pack up her belongings back to her home. This is because she had proved to be such a miserable dictator from the word ‘go’ but instead we were sued over red hot Michope. As you may recall, Aggrey and I used to work in a certain NGO during the mid 90s. I have told you before about our expatriate boss who never used to bother whether we were in the office or not. He just preferred spending the day smoking his pipe inside his tent. When the head office sent a team to audit the operations of the NGO, we were not surprised when the old boss received a sack. This meant that the NGO headquarters had to dispatch a replacement. We were given a very tough looking lady who immediately won herself the name ‘iron lady.’ We engaged some gears and thought of a nice plan to send her off in a polite way. That is how we found ourselves at Migina for a staff function which would have normally been held at Des Mille Collines Hotel. But being the miser that she was, our new boss ordered us to hold the function at a cheap place. The ideal place for us therefore was at Migina for Michope and Mitzigs. Like I told you a few weeks ago, Aggrey and I befriended the cooks at Migina. We told them to select the VIP plate meant for our boss and proceed to spray it with a lot of hot chilli pepper. Then we encouraged our boss to take a cocktail of Mitzings, Uganda Waragi and Guinness-coke. So after several litres mixed up with the roasted hot Michope in her tummy, a riot became inevitable. She started to scream in so much pain as she asked people around to take her to the toilets though they were not keen on helping. They were just minding their own businesses and dancing away to the Dombolo sounds. It was therefore left for Aggrey and me to find means of transporting the boss to the nearest hospital. But as it was already midnight, we could not find any clinic operating. We made the rounds all over town but all clinics had the ‘closed’ sign on. All this time, our new boss was yelling and screaming. Her mouth was feeling so hot! Her stomach was boiling in pain. Her head was pounding. She was calling out names of her relatives to come to her rescue. We moved up and down in the NGO vehicle looking for a solution but with very little success. When we found one Pharmacy open, we became relieved. But our relief did not last so long because the Pharmacist claimed that he could not give us medicine without a doctor’s prescription. We begged the Pharmacist for kindness claiming that our boss was just suffering from a simple food disorder “Please give her some Magnesium tablets Sir”. So out of sympathy, the Pharmacist dished out some Magnesium tablets. Our boss gulped in 2 tablets hoping that the pain would disappear. However, the pain just doubled after the 2 tablets got mixed up with the Michopes in her stomach. This meant that the screams also increased as we drove through town in the middle of the night. For Aggrey and I, the screams were like music in our ears. We knew that our plan had worked to perfection. We were sure that this dictator would pack up her bags the next morning and vamoose. But being the iron lady that she was, our boss woke up very early and waited for us at the offices. She demanded some tough explanations. Who was the owner of that infamous Migina Pub? Did they have a license to operate? And who is the best lawyer in town? We started to panic. We thought that our plan was working. Instead of escorting our boss back to the airport, we escorted her to the best lawyer in town. Eventually, when we bombarded the Migina Pub to help the lawyer with investigations, the cooks responsible for the hot chilli started to quake in their pants. That is why they spilled the beans by revealing the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Aggrey and I were nabbed hands down. The lawyer turned to us with a serious expression on his face. “I am sorry we cannot sue this Migina Pub but instead we are suing both of you over red hot Michope. We’ll see you in court” E-mail: diaspoman@yahoo.com
