I know that after reading this you are going to dismiss me as an opportunist who is on the verge of losing his bird hunting charisma. You will argue that in order to keep my reputation as a serious bird hunter afloat, I am acting like a politician who is trying to capture the attention of voters (or international handlers in the case of one ‘politician’ I know who now wishes she never listened to her handlers for a minute who convinced her she had what it takes to compete for Presidency in Rwanda). Those who know me know that I am a serious schemer and this is what has kept me growing from strength to strength. Like any military strategist would tell you, you cannot be successful in anything when you are not a good analyst of situations surrounding your interests. You have to be always alert and ready to take advantage without hesitation. Any slight delay could cost you millions – of birds.Big Brother is back and I have plans. I have been watching and I should say that I am quite disappointed in the organizers for their lack of critical thinking. When they announced that they were organizing an ‘all-star’ show this time round, I immediately gave them credit for their genius. However, when the show kicked off and I saw the stars that they had assembled, I was left in doubt about the creativity of the organizers. Can you imagine bringing everyone back but the one and only Gae and Richard? What did the organizers think we are? Insensitive viewers? That is why I, the universal bird hunting champion will not sit back as viewers are subjected to another boring show. I have decided to storm the ‘barn’ or the house and turn things around. In the absence of Mr. Gaetano and Richard, I intend to bring about a balance in the food chain which I find very missing. I want to inject in some life so that viewers can be able to have value for their money. My interest in the show? Well, well, you guessed right!! The house looks like the tree (or is it a place?) located some kilometres from Nyabugogo as you head to the North and Western provinces. The house is a bird’s haven! I actually have been wondering why I have not been involved in the show because I would add more spice to it by playing the ‘Big Brother’ (or the Big Hunter, if you like). By watching the first, second and third shows, I have made up my mind that I will have to be part of the ‘all-star’, by hook or crook. I cannot sit back and watch as people like Hannington and Uti give mediocre performance in the house and end up becoming overnight heroes- and millionaires. These are small boys (pun intended of course) who just came from nowhere and just stumbled into bird hunting by mistake. It is therefore a mistake to glorify them and turn them into heroes. This is offending and provoking me intentionally. Too bad for my ego. That is why I will be knocking at biggie’s door and inform him about my proposal which I am sure he will not have the guts to turn down. That’s why I tell you that the Big Brother Africa show will never be the same again because soccer channels will register losses during the three months. And for your information, I will not be doing this for the money like the so called heroes. This will be purely a bird hunting thing. So what’s wrong with a champion being rewarded for doing what he knows best? Let us meet at BBA All - Stars. It will be fire! Ends
