The Hater: I hate people who…

…spoil other people’s plans. I hate it when someone spoils another’s plans especially when it’s hard to change them on short notice. Right now I have absolute hatred for those guys who dug up the area around the MTN roundabout in Kimihurura making it difficult for newly wed people to take nice photographs from there. A photo from the same area can now be mistaken to have been taken at Nyabugogo Taxi Park thanks to those labourers with their spades and dirty overalls. I am so angry; I have even decided to cancel my wedding plans. Sorry sweetheart, our wedding will have to wait for this place to be fixed. …ask me to switch sim cards so that they can talk to me. I actually think the police should make it a crime and start arresting these jokers. Someone calls you but instead of speaking sense, she tells you “mbabarira ushire mu Tigo tuvugane” (please switch to your Tigo sim card and we talk). Are we not talking already? Why don’t you just say what you want? Is it me you want or Tigo? If you cannot afford to talk to me without going for the promotional offer by Tigo or any other telephone company for that matter then I suggest you find new friends. In fact I hate people who think they can talk to me at a subsidised rate. …complain about almost everything. After reading my vicious complaints about the poor state of the Nyabugogo taxi park someone has remembered to have the place repaired. However allow me to hate all those broke people who are complaining that the park is now a mess. I hate them because when the place was bad they complained. Why should they complain now that it is being fixed? Did they expect to just wake up and find the park fixed by a magician? If you want nice things you have to be patient. If you cannot stand this then you can talk to my friends at Akagera Motors and ask them to sell you a new Toyota so that you stop using the taxi park. …attack innocent civilians and call it a war strategy. The misfortune of not having gone to school is the hardest to conceal. Some jokers calling themselves Al Shabaab decided to send more than 70 people to their creator by bombing them as they watched a World Cup match in Kampala. Please, fellows, this is not war but terrorism. I hate you so much and pray that when any of you dies, you do not just go to hell but your body is used as firewood to burn other sinners. If you are angry with the Ugandan army in your country then why don’t you attack the army in Kampala instead of innocent people? Al Shabaab I hate you so much that I have not even allowed you to touch a copy of our cherished Sunday Times to read this. Go and repent. …can’t tell the difference between Somalis and Al Shabaab. I have developed hatred for those people who have allowed their heads to think with anger and have called for Uganda to expel all the Somalis after the recent bomb blasts by Al Shabaab. They forget that a good number of Somalis are good and peace loving people and should not be victimised by the actions of a few ill intentioned ones. It is 2010 and xenophobia is really out dated. And have you forgotten that the guy who sang ‘Waving flag’ (K’naan) is from Somalia and so are the numerous business people who are across East Africa. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 758 545293.