For Umugwaneza (not her real name), financial dependence was never part of the plan. An information technology graduate from a Kigali-based university, she had secured employment and hoped to build a career while raising her family.

But when she became pregnant with her third child, now six, her working life took an unexpected turn.

She initially believed her husband wanted her to take a break during pregnancy and return to work after maternity leave. Instead, she says, he refused to let her resume her job.

Umugwaneza, who asked not to be fully identified, says her husband frequently accused her of infidelity. The accusations sometimes escalated into physical violence. On several occasions, she missed work because of bruises or threats from him.

Although her husband, a director at a local company, had promised to provide for the family, she says relying on one income has become increasingly difficult as living costs rise. He has also refused to let her seek another job or start a business.

Six years after leaving employment, she remains dependent on him, unable to use her qualifications to earn an income.

"I sit at home and wonder whether he will ever allow me to do something of my own. I no longer have friends. I only leave the house when we are going to church or attending family gatherings. Sometimes I feel shy and disconnected from society. I feel like I no longer belong,” she says.

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Her experience illustrates an often-overlooked dimension of gender-based violence (GBV): economic abuse. By restricting access to employment, earnings and other resources, an abusive partner can create financial dependence that makes it harder for a survivor to seek safety or leave the relationship.

When financial provision becomes control

An arrangement in which one partner earns an income while the other takes care of the home can work when both freely agree to it. It becomes controlling when one partner denies the other the freedom to work, earn, access money or participate in financial decisions.

Mary Balikungeri, founder and Executive Director of Rwanda Women’s Network (RWN), says economic abuse can take several forms, including preventing a partner from working, taking their earnings, restricting access to money and denying them control over financial decisions.

A partner may therefore earn an income and still experience economic abuse if they cannot freely access or decide how to use their earnings.

For survivors such as Umugwaneza, being prevented from working removes a source of income and limits the choices available to them. Providing for a household does not justify restricting a partner’s ability to pursue opportunities or make decisions about their future.

How abuse deepens financial dependence

Balikungeri says GBV can undermine survivors’ livelihoods even when perpetrators do not directly prevent them from working.

"Gender-based violence has far-reaching consequences for survivors' economic wellbeing. Its impact goes beyond the immediate physical and psychological harm: it can undermine a person's ability to participate in economic activities, maintain employment, run a business and provide for their family,” she says.

Survivors may miss work because of injuries, trauma, medical appointments, court proceedings or the need to seek safety. Some lose their jobs, abandon businesses or reduce their working hours.

For women who depend on daily earnings from small businesses, informal employment or agriculture, even a brief interruption can mean losing customers, income or business capital.

These losses can deepen dependence on an abusive partner. Without an independent income or savings, survivors may struggle to pay for transport, accommodation, childcare and other essentials needed to leave an unsafe home.

Financial dependence can also make it harder to seek assistance. The result is a cycle in which abuse undermines a survivor’s livelihood, while the loss of income reduces their ability to escape further violence.

The consequences extend to the household. Families may struggle to pay school fees, buy nutritious food, access healthcare and maintain decent living conditions. Children’s education and future opportunities may also suffer.

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Financial conflict is not always economic abuse

Although women bear a disproportionate burden of GBV, men can also experience abuse within marriage. Social expectations surrounding masculinity may make it difficult for them to speak about their experiences.

However, financial disagreements and poor communication do not, on their own, establish economic abuse.

John, whose real name is withheld, describes years of tension in his marriage to an entrepreneur. He says his wife sometimes travelled to Dubai for shopping without informing him and rarely communicated openly about her business earnings and financial activities.

For him, the lack of transparency over money and significant financial decisions became a source of distress.

His account raises questions about communication, trust and shared decision-making. Establishing economic abuse, however, requires examining whether one partner uses intimidation, coercion or control to restrict the other’s choices and access to resources.

Spouses can retain financial independence while communicating openly about decisions affecting their household. The concern arises when money or access to resources becomes a means of controlling a partner.

Rebuilding livelihoods after abuse

Leaving an abusive relationship does not necessarily end a survivor’s financial difficulties.

Balikungeri says survivors often face lost income, limited savings, debts, housing costs and the expense of accessing essential services. Those seeking to restart businesses may lack capital, collateral, financial records or the skills needed to secure financing.

"An important point is that financial recovery should not be understood simply as giving survivors money or providing short-term assistance.

"It requires helping them regain control over their financial decisions, restore their livelihoods, build assets and develop the confidence and capacity to manage their economic futures,” she says.

She argues that responses to GBV should include support for economic recovery alongside medical, psychosocial and legal assistance.

Individual support plans should consider survivors’ skills, interests, circumstances and safety needs, with referrals to vocational training, financial literacy programmes, business development services and employment opportunities.

For people leaving abusive environments, immediate needs may take priority. Safe accommodation, food, healthcare, transport and childcare can provide the stability needed to pursue longer-term economic opportunities.

Access to finance also matters. Government institutions, financial institutions and development partners could support survivors through start-up grants, affordable financing, savings programmes, business mentorship and access to markets.

For particularly vulnerable survivors, grants may be more appropriate than loans that could add to their financial burden.

Balikungeri calls for stronger partnerships between government, civil society organisations, financial institutions, cooperatives and private-sector employers to help survivors access decent work and sustainable livelihoods.

Independence means control over resources

Helping a survivor earn an income is only part of the response. Balikungeri stresses that economic independence also requires the freedom to control earnings, manage assets and make financial decisions safely.

"Women's economic empowerment must go beyond earning an income. It must also involve the ability to control their earnings, own and manage assets, access financial services and participate in household financial decisions. Financial independence is meaningful only when women can make economic choices freely and safely,” she says.

She adds that economic empowerment must be accompanied by efforts to address unequal power relations and social norms that perpetuate violence.

Engaging men and boys in promoting gender equality, shared household responsibilities, respectful relationships and non-violent conflict resolution is part of that work.

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As Rwanda prepares to mark the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, running from November 25 to December 10, survivors’ ability to rebuild their livelihoods remains an important part of protection and recovery.

For Umugwaneza, that begins with the opportunity to return to work, use her qualifications and earn an income of her own.

Her experience shows how restrictions on employment can leave a survivor financially dependent on the person she says is abusing her. Rebuilding independence means restoring both access to resources and the freedom to decide how to use them.