‘How do I know I am ready?’

‘What if I apply and fail?’

‘Can I really have a career and a family?’

These were some of the questions I heard recently from a group of young women.

I recognised them because, at different points in my own journey, I had asked versions of them too.

Today, I spend much of my time thinking about programmes, partnerships, policies and our work through UNDP. So, I value opportunities to step outside that space and have conversations that are simply about people, their aspirations, choices and journeys.

One such opportunity came through the LiftHerUp Masterclass, organised by Gate Consulting Group and Women in Finance Rwanda, on the theme ‘Why Aspire for Leadership Positions?’

Looking around the room, I saw something of my younger self in those women: the ambition, the uncertainty and that yearning to discover just how far one could go. But as we talked, I found myself thinking less about how they could reach leadership positions and more about what they might do once the door opened. Because I have learnt that getting into the room is only part of the journey.

I did not start my career saying, ‘I want a leadership position.’ I took initiative, used my expertise to help others, brought people together and tried to solve problems. In many ways, leadership found me before I went looking for it. Over time, I realised that leadership offers something individual achievement cannot: the opportunity to create the conditions for other people to do excellent work.

Yes, I wanted to contribute in rooms where priorities are set, resources allocated and difficult choices made. But leadership also allowed me to develop people, open doors and build teams capable of achieving far more collectively.

That is why I believe we sometimes confuse leadership with position. A title gives you formal authority. Leadership is about responsibility, influence and credibility. Instead of only asking, ‘How do I get promoted?’ the better question is: ‘What kind of leader am I becoming? Can people trust me? Can I bring people together? Can I communicate a difficult decision? Can I manage conflict? And importantly, can I help somebody else succeed? What do you do once the door opens?

Leading UNDP Rwanda gave me an incredible platform to confront that question personally. I was proud to see several colleagues move into international positions. Their success was theirs; they had the talent and did the work. But I also believe leadership carries a responsibility to create environments where talent can be recognised, developed and positioned for opportunity.

We created periodic women-only safe spaces where colleagues could speak openly about work, careers, family, life and all the things that do not always balance as neatly as we would like.

We also introduced the Staff Transformation Exchange Programme (STEP), enabling colleagues from Rwanda to gain experience in other UNDP offices, while colleagues from Zambia, South Africa, Ethiopia, Sierra Leone, Ghana and elsewhere came to Rwanda.

The thinking was simple: why should international experience only come after someone gets an international job? In 2025, STEP received a global UNDP award for learning and development. The recognition was gratifying, but seeing colleagues grow, broaden their experience and move into new opportunities meant much more.

Of course, career journeys rarely unfold as neatly as they appear in retrospect. I started applying for international opportunities years before I eventually joined the UN. In 2013, I was shortlisted for a senior economist position, passed the written examination, and still did not get the job.

Years later, I applied for a strategic adviser position in New York that I was convinced I would get, but I did not. I kept going. I kept learning and doing my work. Most importantly, I tried not to allow rejection to become bitterness.

That is why one of my strongest messages to women is: do not wait until you feel perfectly ready.

Across different countries where I have worked, I have met extraordinarily capable women already doing the work of the next level but hesitating to put themselves forward. Yet this is not simply about confidence. Women still encounter structural barriers, unequal care responsibilities, bias and exclusion from some of the networks where opportunities are created.

We cannot individually remove every barrier, but we can stop shrinking ourselves while confronting them. Put yourself forward. Build your expertise. Develop strategic networks. Find mentors and sponsors. Ask for opportunities. And when you have influence, use it deliberately to create opportunities for others.

Success also requires knowing what matters. There is another side of ambition we do not discuss enough: trade-offs. My career has meant moving countries, being away from people I love, missing important moments and, at times, choosing family when another professional opportunity was available.

There are choices I might make differently today. But I try not to judge the woman I was then using the knowledge and circumstances I have now. She made the best choices she could with what she had.

So, know your non-negotiables. Not every promotion is worth every price. Careers do not have to follow identical timelines, and a different route does not mean you have lost your way.

And when the door finally opens, do not simply celebrate that you made it through. Perhaps #LiftHerUp should become a verb. When you enter a room, ask yourself: Whose name can I mention? Whose work can I make visible? Who needs an introduction? What door can I hold open?

Walk through the doors that open for you. Then turn around and leave them a little wider for the next woman.

That, to me, is leadership.

The writer is Resident Representative, UNDP Rwanda