WOMAN2WOMAN: When you have to discuss music, movies and novels

“I enjoy watching movies, reading novels (Mills &Boon), listening to loud music , going dancing and “hanging out” with my friends,” my good friend Diana replied when I inquired about her hobbies. Diana is 17 years old in her vacation waiting to join university. Diana’s hobbies are not unique; almost anybody in the same age bracket likes the same things. The trouble is most parents do not want to read into their sons and daughters needs. But does this stop teenagers from liking these things? It is difficult to stop them essentially they stem from peer pressure which promoted by pop culture. That is, the popular items such as books, films, fashions, sports, music, foods and more that are popular at a given time. These items are usually circulating widely around so they are readily recognisable for those who are up to the minute about trends. Discussing pop culture with your teenager can also be tricky simply because it moves so quickly. Just when you think you know the names of a popular musician you will find out that someone else has come up and taken his or her place. By the time you have a chance to watch a film on DVD there will be another movie being released at the cinema. According to expert advice on teenage behaviour from www.yourteenager.co.uk do not let the fear of being outdated stop you from having important discussions, however. Admit to your teenager that you may not be up totally “up to date” with every aspect of pop culture, but that there are certain aspects that are worrying you. This will give you the perfect platform to begin a general discussion, whether it will be about drink, drugs, teenage pregnancy, women’s fashions, violence or anything else that is on your mind. In fact, staying general may be helpful because it will allow you to ask your teenager for more specifics. Asking all family members to engage in a once-a-month film night or beginning a discussion about favourite books while on a car journey will help you stay in touch with what your kids are seeing and doing. Sometimes getting a little silly or allowing your teenagers to laugh at you can help keep a conversation going. Play them some of your favourite teenage songs or show them pictures of you in the height of fashion when you were a teenager. By building a bridge and showing them that you are interest in give-and-take, not just lecturing, you will be more likely to keep your teenager engaged. The topic of pop culture also is the prefect time to reiterate your family values. For example, discussing teenage drinking gives you a great opening to remind teenager that responsible drinking by those who are over the legal age is perfectly acceptable in your house, but that binge drinking and underage drinking is not. Asking their opinion on matters, such as “That last film we saw was pretty gruesome or bad pictures. What did you think of the drug scenes or actors who are naked?” will help keep them involved and show them that you think their thoughts and opinions are worthwhile. The more the two of you can interact the more you can both learn about pop culture and your family culture. Pop culture and your teenager can be a scary but exciting relationship. As a parent, watch how it develops and step in when you feel that it is needed. bernanamata@gmail.com