As the nation prepares for the 32nd Commemoration of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, there will be a mix of emotions across the country. Many will relive painful memories such as a tsunami of sadness for losing their loved ones, anger for revisiting the horrific actions done against fellow human beings, and hope for the great strides in growth, unity and reconciliation the country has taken. ALSO READ: Genocide commemoration: Why we remember Others will offer deep sympathy and empathy, whether they were physically present in 1994 or born generations after the genocide. This shows that everyone, whether young or old, will experience intense feelings. ALSO READ: April still speaks—are we listening? However important these stories are, they can cause emotional discomfort. Not everyone can handle the turbulent waves of feelings that are approaching. To help you through this period, we encourage you to focus on your mental well-being. ALSO READ: Kwibuka: Our role to preserve the memory remains Mental health, simply put, is how well a person thinks, feels, acts, and functions in daily life. When someone experiences a traumatic event, such as reflecting on the country’s history 32 years ago, their behaviour and perceptions can change. ALSO READ: The enduring legacy of Rwanda's genocide survivors Intentional self-care is essential, especially during this period. Here are some tips we believe can help you stay mentally healthy. Know when to step back The emotional journey during this period is very personal, and what one person can manage differs from what another can. While these feelings are a natural part of the process, they become a concern when they start interfering with our daily lives. Do you struggle with sleep around this time? Are there intrusive thoughts that cloud your mind? Do you find it difficult to concentrate at work or school when you hear traumatic stories? Have you ever ended up crying unexpectedly during the day? Do you experience headaches or migraines when listening to a testimony? If you can say yes to at least one of these questions, then you should take action. If you notice a shift, please consider making adjustments to ease the burden. This could mean intentionally limiting your exposure during the commemoration period. Fuel your resilience: Prioritize your body’s needs When we experience periods of strong emotion, whether from stress, grief, or even intense focus to complete a task or an assignment, the way we take care of our physical bodies often suffers. We may attend commemoration programmes, travelling long distances with little to no food. By the end, some people feel dizzy or light-headed; others faint — overwhelmed by the testimonies and worn down by sleep deprivation, dehydration, or the heat. It is crucial to make a conscious effort to look after your body during this time. Eating a balanced diet, drinking enough water, engaging in physical activity, and getting quality sleep can make a big difference. Fostering connection Although it is crucial to hear survivors’s stories and testimonies, it is also important to hold space for them and yourself. Active listening is important when someone shares their experience; resist the urge to compare experiences, act out, or offer unsolicited advice. Your presence alone can be powerful. Also, be mindful of the environments in which these conversations take place, choosing those that are safe and free from judgment. Remember also to reach out when you feel the weight of what you are carrying. You cannot give what you don’t have. Connection flows in both directions, and allowing others to support you is not a weakness but an act of courage. Embracing self-kindness Often, we focus on how to support others, and little is said about helping ourselves. During this period, it is easy to forget that you, too, deserve tenderness and gentleness. We often hold ourselves to unrealistic, if not impossible, standards, expecting to stay strong and composed while neglecting ourselves. Self-kindness begins with allowing yourself to feel without judgment, to rest without guilt, and to accept that this season is hard. Speak to yourself the way you would to a close friend. Remember that grief looks different for everyone — there is no single correct way to mourn. Be curious about your inner experience rather than critical of it. This period calls on each of us to be both brave enough to face the weight of history and gentle enough to care for ourselves and one another along the way. Whether you find strength in community, in quiet reflection, or in the comfort of those closest to you, know that every path through grief is a valid one. As we honour those we have lost, let us also honour the living—their resilience, their stories, and their enduring presence among us. Moving forward is not the same as forgetting; it is, in fact, the most powerful tribute you can offer. Isa Ssenkabala, a speech and language therapist, and Rose Nyiraneza, a mental health researcher, work at Solid Minds Counselling Clinic in Kigali.
