“Sorry.” It’s one of the most commonly used words in customer service. Sometimes it’s sincere, heartfelt, and disarming. Other times, it’s dry, rushed, and clearly scripted. And customers can tell the difference almost instantly. ALSO READ: When saying nothing says everything A genuine apology shows up not just in words, but in body language, tone, and most importantly what happens next. When the eyes match the words, when the posture leans in instead of pulling away, and when action follows, “sorry” can repair trust. But when the words are hollow and no corrective action follows, “sorry” quickly loses its power. In those moments, it simply isn’t enough. ALSO READ: How can we expect excellence from staff who’ve never experienced it? In many of our cultures, we are taught to say sorry early and often. In Kinyarwanda, you say “ihangane” or “mbabarira,” and in Kiswahili, “pole” or “pole na kazi,” or “pole kwa usumbufu,” or “pole sana.” These words signal empathy and politeness. But culturally, they don’t always mean accountability. Often, they communicate, “I see what you’re going through,” not necessarily, “I will fix what went wrong.” ALSO READ: Expectation vs. experience: The real gap in customer service And this is where the gap appears. Mistakes are inevitable. We are human. In service, things will go wrong, orders will be delayed, systems will fail, communication will break down. The problem is not the mistake. The problem is what we do after we say sorry. Trust is not rebuilt by words alone; it is earned through visible, consistent corrective action. If you find yourself apologizing repeatedly for the same issue, that is no longer an accident, it is a signal to dig deeper. ALSO READ: The entitled customer or the misunderstood one? I once experienced a powerful example of what a meaningful apology looks like. I ordered a steak that arrived far more cooked than requested. When the staff noticed I wasn’t enjoying it, they didn’t wait for me to complain. They came over, genuinely surprised, and apologized sincerely. They offered to take the dish back to the kitchen and prepare another. While I waited, they brought me an additional side dish, unsolicited. I politely declined, knowing another steak was coming, but they insisted. That small gesture spoke volumes. When the new steak arrived, they checked immediately to ensure it was to my liking. At the end of the meal, they apologized again and left small mints at the table. This was not extravagance; it was attentiveness. They didn’t just say sorry, they overcorrected. And in doing so, they exceeded expectations. That is the difference between an apology that heals and one that irritates. Contrast this with experiences where apologies come easily, but action never follows. In a previous article, I shared an experience with an airline where the check-in staff apologized for a flight reschedule that caused major disruption. The apology sounded sincere in the moment. But to date, no corrective action has been taken. Emails went unanswered. Promises were not honored. In this case, “sorry” felt less like accountability and more like a placeholder, something said to quiet the situation, not resolve it. This pattern is more common than we like to admit. In business, we often apologize too quickly without fully listening. We apologize defensively “I said sorry” with an attitude that suggests the customer should now move on. We apologize privately for issues that affected many customers, avoiding public accountability. And sometimes, we apologize simply because we don’t know what else to say. Why is action so hard after an apology? Often, it comes down to ownership. When we don’t place ourselves in the customer’s shoes, we fail to grasp the emotional weight of the situation. Without empathy, apologies become superficial. At other times, ego gets in the way. We are too senior, too important, or too proud to admit fault. In some organizations, apologizing is seen as weakness, or worse, an admission of incompetence. Over time, this becomes cultural. Yet leadership sets the tone. When leaders apologize genuinely and take responsibility, they give permission for the rest of the organization to do the same. When leaders hide behind titles, policies, or silence, teams follow suit. Saying sorry without action is like acknowledging a leak but refusing to turn off the water. The damage continues. In schools, we teach children to say sorry. But do we teach them what it means? Is it merely a polite habit, or a commitment to change behavior? The same question applies in business. A real apology answers three unspoken questions the customer is asking: Do you understand what went wrong? Do you care about how it affected me? And what will you do differently next time? Customers are not asking for perfection. They are asking for reliability, honesty, and follow-through. Doing what the customer expects is not “wow” it is the baseline. Anything above that is extra, and while it can delight, it is not always necessary. What is necessary is alignment between words and actions. So, here are a few truths worth sitting with. Apologies without action erode trust. Repeated apologies for the same mistake damage credibility. And silence after an apology undoes whatever goodwill the words may have created. In customer care, “sorry” should be the beginning of a conversation, not the end of it. It should be followed by listening, correction, communication, and consistency. That is how trust is built not in grand gestures, but in daily actions. So, ask yourself this: when you say sorry, what follows? Are your apologies repairing trust or just buying time? Because when “sorry” is not backed by action, customers stop hearing the apology. And when that happens, what you lose is far more expensive than the mistake itself. The author is a certified hospitality trainer and founder of Outstanding Solutions Afrika, a boutique hospitality and tourism consulting firm dedicated to transforming service excellence.
