I invite you to pause for a moment and look around you. Notice the way our mothers flinch at sudden sounds, the way fathers avoid speaking about their own painful childhoods. Now, look closer at your social circles. Can you see it there too? Young people who are afraid to have deep conversations, who struggle to form lasting, healthy relationships. ALSO READ: Transgenerational trauma: How the past continues to affect future generations Some turn to substance abuse or other self-destructive behaviors. Others wrestle with a fragile sense of identity, low self-esteem, depression, or even thoughts of suicide. Rising unemployment and social disconnection only deepen the impact. ALSO READ: Majority of suicide attempts in Rwanda involve young adults – RBC At first glance, this may seem like a collection of individual challenges, but is it really? In truth, when patterns of struggle repeat across families, there is often a hidden trigger: a traumatic event, a wound that was never fully healed. And make no mistake; society continues to carry the weight of past generations’ pain. ALSO READ: More young people are opening up on mental illness – expert So, let’s talk about intergenerational trauma. Trauma is more than a painful memory; it is an experience or a series of experiences that can alter our brain chemistry, affect our biology, and shape the way we function in the world. ALSO READ: New research shows link of mother to daughter post-Genocide depression Intergenerational trauma is a kind of trauma that doesn’t end with the person who experienced it; it is passed down to future generations. Transmission happens in at least two broad ways: biologically, and behaviorally. First, there is growing scientific interest in biological pathways, including epigenetics, the study of how life experiences can influence which genes are switched on or off. This means that the experiences of one generation, especially those involving intense stress or suffering can change how genes function and even be passed down. These changes can influence how the next generation responds to stress, their mental health risks, and more. In other words, our DNA carries not just our looks or mannerisms, but echoes of past pain. ALSO READ: How stigma traps people in cycle of illness Behaviorally, we also inherit trauma through observation and learning. We see, feel, and absorb the ways our parents manage or suppress pain. These learned responses can become the blueprint for how future generations cope, often without anyone naming the source. Trauma, it seems, travels quietly through both our genes and the lives we observe shaping who we are long before we can fully understand it. Now, this is not about making excuses, or shifting blame, but about understanding and connecting so that we can move forward with healthier minds. Here in Rwanda, the psychological wounds of our country’s past affect many people and shape current social and mental-health realities. A 2018 mental health survey reported that a substantial share of the population was living with one or more mental-health conditions, with higher prevalence among genocide survivors. Despite this burden, many people who need help do not access services. So, how does intergenerational trauma show up in some families? It echoes the patterns of the original trauma. It may appear as mood instability, shifts in appetite or weight, chronic headaches or other unexplained physical symptoms, or a lingering sense of emotional disconnection. It can also take the form of difficulty maintaining healthy relationships, increased vulnerability to substance misuse, or heightened anxiety and stress responses. Recognition, becoming aware that a pattern exists, is the crucial first step. We have an opportunity to heal because we have a stable ground, and tools they did not have or have the luxury to access them. A big part of healing is remembrance and honoring our past. That often begins with being willing to be uncomfortable: asking deep questions about family history, and listening to stories elders never told. Silence is the biggest enemy of healing. However, we all know that asking those deep questions may be like opening deep unhealed wounds, so maybe we can start with ourselves; asking ourselves questions such as: what has been my trauma responses lately? How do I react when I feel threatened? Where do those reactions show up in my relationships or daily life? Map the patterns back; who showed those responses? Naming them is not an excuse; it’s the work of connection and repair. It’s true that many struggles we see among young people today; anxiety, relationship difficulties, identity confusion, and substance abuse, exist everywhere in the world. These are human problems, not unique to Rwanda. But what makes our context different is the weight behind them. ALSO READ: Free my generation from the identity crisis trap In societies shaped by collective trauma, these struggles don’t appear in isolation; they appear in patterns across families and whole age groups. We are a generation navigating normal life challenges while also carrying unspoken wounds passed down from our parents and grandparents. That layered reality doesn’t make us broken; it simply explains why the healing work ahead of us matters so much. VIDEO: Hope, resilience and transgenerational trauma: Rwandan author shares insights in book Healing does not happen all at once. Clinical care; therapy, counselling, and community mental-health services is often necessary. But small daily practices help too: moments of meditation, simple rituals, short acts of self-care, gratitude, or quiet reflection. Storytelling, conscious parenting, cultural practices, and community support are all part of a collective response as a society. This has to be a generational effort; one that grows stronger when we choose to remember, to listen, and to support one another, facing our history with clarity and compassion, to create a Rwanda where the pain of the past no longer dictates the possibilities of the future. That is how we honor those who endured and those who continue to rebuild. So, we must build what I’ll call intergenerational resilience; the values, empathy, and courage passed down alongside pain. Our responsibility is to transform inherited suffering into strength and meaningful change for generations to come. So, ask yourself, today: what do I carry from my family that I run from? Is it fear, anxiety, rejection, or grief? I urge you to realize that you have in you, and around you, the ability and resources to heal, but most importantly, in the decision to speak rather than to stay silent. Queen Nelly Uwase is a psychiatric nurse exploring the emotional landscapes we rarely talk about.
