In August, Rwanda passed a landmark law lowering the age - from 18 to 15 - at which adolescents can independently access reproductive health services. With this change, a 15-year-old can now walk into a clinic and seek contraception, HIV or STI testing, or reproductive information without parental consent. Supporters describe it as a pragmatic step toward reducing teenage pregnancies and protecting vulnerable youth. Critics fear it encourages early sexual behavior and weakens the influence of parents. ALSO READ: Debate on ‘right approach to teen pregnancy’ persists as cases rise Yet beneath the noise of this debate lies a deeper, quieter question that receives far less attention than it deserves. What do our children actually know long before they turn 15? Access to family planning is important. But it should never be the first line of defense. Their safety begins much earlier; in the lessons they receive at home and in the education they experience long before they ever consider going to a clinic. Children growing up without a language for their lives Too many adolescents move through their early years without a vocabulary for discomfort, boundaries, or even their own bodies. They sense danger but cannot name it. They feel pressure but cannot describe it. They experience manipulation but only realize years later what it truly was. ALSO READ: Parliament passes bill allowing surrogacy, contraceptives for 15-year-olds This absence of language is not natural; it is taught. It grows in homes where discussing the body feels forbidden, in communities where silence is mistaken for discipline, and in cultures where a young girl is told to be “quiet,” “modest,” or “ashamed” before she even understands the meaning of those words. The result is a generation of children who walk into adolescence confused, unprepared, and vulnerable and a world all too ready to take advantage of that vulnerability. ALSO READ: A call to Rwanda’s youth to guard the gift of peace together Predators and manipulators are empowered by this silence. They know what a child does not know. They can sense when a child fears speaking out, when shame has been planted early, and when cultural expectations have blurred a child’s sense of what is appropriate. When we refuse to teach children the language of their own safety, we leave them defenseless. Illusion of protecting culture through silence One of the greatest barriers to open sex education is the belief that speaking about these matters destroys cultural values. Many parents say, “Our culture doesn’t talk about such things,” or, “Children should learn this when they are older.” But children are not growing up in the same world that shaped our traditions. They live in a world that is far less forgiving, far more connected, and disturbingly accessible to those who would harm them. ALSO READ: Free my generation from the identity crisis trap The internet does not care about silence. Predators do not respect cultural norms. Society does not shelter the uninformed. Keeping a child in the dark does not preserve innocence; it only preserves risk. If culture demands silence at the cost of a child’s safety, then it is culture not conversation that must evolve. Teaching a child about consent, boundaries, and their own worth is not a betrayal of tradition. It is an act of protection in a world where innocence is most threatened by ignorance. Parents cannot outsource this role Many parents fear that discussing sex or body awareness means introducing adulthood too early. But sex education, when done correctly, is not about encouraging premature behavior it is about equipping children with knowledge that protects them at every age. A five-year-old does not need to learn about sexual activity, but they do need to know the correct names of their body parts and understand that no one has the right to touch them without permission. An eight-year-old should not be navigating shame around puberty alone. A teenager must not be left to discover consent only when it is already too late. When parents create an atmosphere of openness and when questions are welcomed rather than punished they become the first source of truth. Children learn to trust their instincts, express discomfort, and seek guidance without fear. In households where silence reigns, children turn instead to peers, rumors, or the chaotic information online. And these sources rarely have their best interests at heart. Schools are not enough While schools play an important role, their sex education often skims the surface. In most classrooms, the topic is reduced to memorizing STIs or learning how pregnancy occurs. Necessary information, yes, but desperately incomplete. It leaves out the emotional, social, and psychological realities that shape a young person’s daily experience. Children need to know far more than biological facts. They must understand what respect looks like, what manipulation feels like, how to stand firm in their boundaries, and how to recognize when a situation is not safe. They should learn about online dangers before they encounter them, about peer pressure before it swallows them, and about healthy relationships long before they enter one. For too long, we have mistaken warnings for education. Telling children “don’t do it” teaches nothing. It simply leaves them unprepared. Empowerment must come before access Lowering the age for independent access to reproductive health services is a recognition of reality: some adolescents engage in sexual activity, and withholding support will not stop them. But access alone cannot protect a child who has been raised in silence. Contraception is not a shield against manipulation. Testing is not a substitute for boundaries. Clinics cannot undo the years during which a child was too afraid to ask questions. True protection comes from knowledge that begins at home, continues in school, and is reinforced by policy. Empowerment must come before independence. When a child grows up confident in their voice, aware of their worth, and knowledgeable about their rights, they enter adolescence not as a target but as a person capable of making informed, safe choices. Begin where safety truly starts The debate over family planning access matters, but it is not complete without addressing the education that precedes it. A society that teaches children to understand, respect, and protect themselves builds a generation that is stronger than silence and more resilient than fear. Before we ask whether a 15-year-old should access contraception independently, we must ask whether that 15-year-old has ever been taught to name discomfort, to refuse unwanted touch, to recognize danger, and to speak without shame. Education is the beginning of protection and the most powerful form of prevention. A world that is not fair demands children who are prepared. And it is our responsibility, as parents, educators, and citizens, to ensure they are. The writer is an international relations and diplomacy enthusiast.
