The remarks on Monday by the Chief Justice about the complexities of mediating divorce cases offer an important moment of reflection for our society. Rwanda has made good progress in using mediation to resolve disputes, particularly in criminal matters, where it has helped decongest courts, strengthen community bonds, and save the country resources that would otherwise be spent on long prison terms. This success has reinforced the belief that dialogue remains one of the most powerful tools for building a harmonious nation. Yet the temptation to extend this model to every sphere, including marriage, requires sober consideration. While unity in families is an aspiration we all share, it cannot be achieved at any cost, families are indeed the first environment in which children grow, learn values, and gain stability, and the dissolution of a marriage often carries emotional and social burdens for all involved. But it is equally true that forcing a failing marriage to remain intact can produce outcomes far worse than separation. There is a tendency in society to view any divorce as a personal failure or an erosion of cultural values. That mindset must evolve. When two adults reach the painful realisation that their marriage is no longer tenable, they should not be shamed for choosing a path that preserves their safety, dignity, and emotional wellbeing. In some cases, attempts to pressure reconciliation in the face of irreconcilable differences can escalate conflict rather than resolve it. We witnessed tragic cases where mediation in deeply troubled marriages has ended in violence, even death. These are not isolated incidents but reminders that no institution, however noble, is infallible. Mediation is designed to promote understanding, not to trap individuals in situations that pose a danger to their lives. What works in settling neighbourhood disputes or minor criminal cases cannot always be transposed to intimate relationships where power imbalances, emotional strain, or past trauma may cloud the process. A mediator cannot be expected to fix an environment that is fundamentally unsafe. Our justice system must therefore continue to support mediation, but with the clarity that marital disputes require a tailored, cautious and human centred approach. Couples who genuinely believe their differences can be resolved should be given every opportunity to do so. But those who have reached a point where separation is the healthiest option must not be pushed back into flames they are trying to escape. A mature society recognises that protecting families sometimes means allowing them to part ways peacefully. Divorce should remain a last resort, but it must also be accepted as a legitimate choice. After all, the true measure of stability is not the number of marriages that remain intact on paper, but the number of individuals who are able to live free from harm and with peace of mind.
