As a principal emeritus of a secondary school, I have sat in classrooms, supervised dormitories, and spoken with boys who were hurting but did not know how to ask for help. Such experiences convinced me that school stakeholders must be trained to act as non-professional first responders for our boys’ mental health. ALSO READ: How mental health contributes to male mortality rates School employees are the first to observe when a student is struggling or sullen. When they respond early, lives will be saved. Prevention is better than a ton of medication. Our secondary school boys are facing real, often hidden, mental health battles. The number of school counselors is simply too low to meet the needs of boys’ mental health issues. Some schools don’t have a trained counselor, let alone a certified expert in boys’ mental health. Studies from around the world show alarmingly high rates of stress, anxiety, depression, and even suicide among teenage boys. This silent epidemic demands our collective response because our boys are carrying heavy pressures that few adults are trained to address. ALSO READ: ADHD: Understanding its effects on learning, daily life Boarding school life can be intense. With teachers busy, boys sometimes create their own, often harsh, systems of control in the dorms. It is alleged that in some African schools, senior students run a crippling credit scheme with compounding interest and harsh repayment methods, often enforced after lights out. In other schools, junior boys are forced to smoke in secret, both to prove their masculinity and to fit in with their peers. Fear and shame keep them silent, convinced that telling an adult would only make things worse. ALSO READ: Why are men reluctant to seek help for mental health issues? Day students face a different kind of challenge. The period between school and home often gives them unsupervised freedom to navigate risky environments. The cheerful boy we see in class can be pulled into destructive behavior within hours outside the school fence. ALSO READ: How to deal with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in learners Boys are generally less likely than girls to talk about emotional pain. Instead, their distress shows up as anger, withdrawal, sudden drops in grades, or a noticeable change in habits. I have watched boys who once loved sports suddenly refuse to leave their bed. I have seen bright students lose all interest in their studies overnight. When we fail to notice these early warning signs, many boys sink deeper into crisis. You do not need a psychology degree to recognize these signs – just eyes that care. Watch for common signals that a boy may be under severe mental stress. These can include, but are not limited to: sudden irritability, frequent shouting or fights, avoiding friends, skipping sports or meals, persistent tiredness that doesn’t improve with rest, silence in class, failure to complete homework, loss of interest in usual activities, poor personal hygiene, sudden or drastic changes in dress, and fearfulness or suspicious behavior, particularly in younger boys. When school staff see these signs, they must respond quickly and calmly. Secondary schools must prioritize training staff as first responders. Schools must build the capacity for a simple and highly effective first-response system for the boy child. I recommend training of teachers, matrons, security guards, and others who interact with students daily, in Psychological First Aid (PFA). PFA involves three simple steps: listen, protect, and connect. Listen without judging. Create safes space for boys. Then refer the case to a specialist. Empathy most times, stabilizes a boy until a professional takes over. We must take safety concerns seriously. If a boy mentions suicide or self-harm, schools, friends and classmates must never assume he is joking. No employee should ever keep such information secret when a student's life is at stake. In such high-risk cases, the school’s emergency protocol must be activated immediately, and a health professional must be involved. Parents are partners. Communicate early and respectfully, sharing your observations and evidence to enlist parents buy-in. We must invite them to partner in finding help for boys’ mental health. Schools should never take over parents’ roles. If a parent refuses support, the school must alert the appropriate authorities. Daily actions can prevent boys’ mental issues from escalating. Schools and teachers play a crucial frontline role in supporting boys’ mental health. Simple daily actions can make a significant difference. A two-minute personal check-in with each student, training senior boys to discreetly look out for juniors, and correcting behavior without shaming help. Safe spaces must be created at all times when a boy is in distress, and coping skills like deep breathing or grounding techniques should be taught in class. School leaders also need clear referral pathways to clinics and mental health NGOs, supported by strong child-protection policies that every staff member understands and applies. To every teacher, cooks, and other staff member, your presence is powerful. You are positioned at the front lines to see boys’ mental health challenges. You do not replace the therapist, but you ensure the boy reaches the therapist. You are the first responder. By responding early, we keep our boys from falling into a dark place. That is the role of a first responder. That is our shared responsibility. Dayo Adeyemi is an author, writer, boys advocate, and corporate trainer. He lives in Kigali.
