We’ve all met that customer. The one who sighs too loudly, asks too many questions, or insists on seeing the manager. You roll your eyes and think, “Ah, another entitled customer.” But what if they’re not entitled; just disappointed? ALSO READ: Can you handle the truth? Learning to love feedback before it’s too late Today’s customers aren’t necessarily more demanding; they’re simply more aware. They’ve travelled, dined, shopped, and stayed in places where excellence is the standard. They’ve seen what good looks like and now they expect it everywhere. That’s not entitlement; that’s evolution. ALSO READ: Service is everyone’s job: From the gate to the boardroom In my work, I’ve seen how quickly businesses label guests as “too much” when they simply know what they want. We forget that customer experience is emotional math every interaction adds or subtracts from the overall feeling. The warm welcome adds points, but the delayed order or broken promise subtracts them. By the end, what’s left is either satisfaction or frustration. ALSO READ: Anticipating guests’ needs: The hallmark of excellent service Even in my own office, my team sometimes calls me demanding. They’re right but not in the way they think. I expect more because I know we’re capable of more. The same applies to customers. When they ask for what was promised, they’re not being difficult they’re holding us accountable to our own words. I once experienced a powerful reminder of this through my son’s school. One afternoon, he came home with a small injury on his back. Naturally, I texted the school to ask what had happened. Silence. Hours turned into days, and only three days later did I finally receive a response. By then, my concern had turned into frustration, and my trust had faded. Responsiveness isn’t just about speed; it’s about care. A simple acknowledgment such as “We’ve received your message and are checking on it” would have reassured me instantly. The delay wasn’t just an operational gap it was emotional neglect. It made me wonder, if communication with parents is this slow, how fast are they responding to the children in their care? In business, it’s the same: when customers reach out and hear nothing, they don’t just lose patience they lose faith. Responsiveness is the heartbeat of service. When it stops, the entire experience feels lifeless. And yet, so many organizations underestimate its power. Customers don’t expect perfection; they expect presence. Another subtle but equally important gap is assurance, that sense of safety and trust a business builds through competence and confidence. I once stayed at a certain property where some of the staff members seemed uncertain about meal times, activities, even basic procedures. There was no malice, just confusion. But confusion doesn’t feel safe; it feels risky. Assurance is built when staff know their work, believe in it, and deliver it consistently. It’s in the confidence of a receptionist who knows how to handle a booking glitch, or a waiter who can explain a menu without hesitation. When assurance is missing, customers begin to doubt everything, your systems, your leadership, and even your care. And then there’s empathy, the bridge that connects service and humanity. I’ve seen guests labelled as “difficult” simply because no one took time to listen. Emotional intelligence teaches us to look beyond tone and see the message. Are they angry because they’re unreasonable or because no one listened the first three times? Empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with every complaint; it means understanding the feeling behind it. A frustrated parent, a tired traveller, or an anxious guest – they’re all reacting to a gap between expectation and reality. When service providers respond with empathy, acknowledging the emotion, apologizing sincerely, and taking action, the storm usually passes. But when they dismiss or ignore it, it grows. Empathy, responsiveness, and assurance – the trifecta of service quality – are what transform ordinary businesses into trusted brands. When any of these go missing, frustration fills the gap. Too often, teams take complaints as attacks rather than opportunities. But feedback, even when it comes wrapped in frustration, is a gift. It’s free insight from someone who still cares enough to speak up. Because let’s be honest: most unhappy customers won’t complain, they’ll simply walk away. The so-called “entitled” customer is often a mirror reflecting our blind spots. They expose the internal cracks poor communication between departments, unclear accountability, or lack of empowerment. They hold up the truth we prefer not to see. In Rwanda, as we continue to build a culture of excellence, this mindset shift is essential. The Na Yombi initiative, the national behaviour-change campaign, is a powerful reminder that service begins with humility and care. It’s about truly seeing and hearing the person in front of you, whether it’s a guest, a colleague, or a parent waiting for a response. That humility, paired with consistency and empathy, could become Rwanda’s greatest competitive advantage in the global service economy. When I train teams, I remind them that customers are emotional beings. They don’t measure value in procedures; they measure it in feelings. They’ll forget what you said, they might even forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel. So, before you call a customer “difficult,” pause and ask yourself: Did we respond quickly enough? Did we inspire confidence? Did we show empathy? Because sometimes, the customer isn’t being demanding, they’re just reflecting the gaps we refuse to see. Let’s stop calling customers difficult and start becoming better listeners. The author is a certified hospitality trainer and founder of Outstanding Solutions Afrika, a boutique hospitality and tourism consulting firm dedicated to transforming service excellence.
