“I am the one all employees run to for help because I have mastered the art of how the company runs, I deserve to be given a bigger office since I am a great asset to the organization. I should be promoted as I possess leadership traits, due my qualifications, and experience, I would love rubbing shoulders with people of my caliber, I know what to do, I don’t think your ideas will make any difference, even though I didn’t scoop prizes as the best employee, I have no doubt I am better than the people awarded.” These and more, shade a clear picture about narcissists. Whether it is your boss or colleague, a narcissist isn’t someone easy to work with; they are self-centered (they ignore the needs of those around them), involve arrogant thinking and behavior, and lack empathy. Narcissists believe that everything revolves around them, they use smooth talk and fleeting kindness to induce people to do their work for them, blame others for their mistakes, and seek constant reassurance. If you currently don’t work with them, the chances of you working with a narcissist at some point in your career are very high. Research has shown that narcissism is on the rise and has been for some time. Today, employers tend to reward and promote the qualities displayed by narcissism, mistaking self-assurance for proficiency, and egotism for accomplishment. Peace Musiime, an accountant in Kigali is of the view that narcissists wouldn’t applaud their co-workers if they are recognised for their efforts, as they are jealous, yet would feel bad if they excelled in something but not congratulated by their team. They can even spread false rumors that some of their colleagues attained their promotions because they have a special romantic relationship with the boss, Musiime explains. She adds that when it comes to working as a team and producing great results, narcissists prefer scenarios of competition even when it’s not necessary so as they emerge winners. Musiime highlights that if offered feedback, narcissists would respond to criticism by shouting, intimidating, or hurling insults. “Even when they make mistakes, they won’t acknowledge it but will give excuses for them or quick to blame others for their missteps. Such employees may struggle to control their emotions, if it fails, they would be in command of the environment and the people in it. They may want others to understand and accommodate their needs, a thing they can’t do for others,” she states. She further notes that such people may act friendly just to impress colleagues or customers, and sway them to like them, ‘if you’re better than them, they would gossip about you just to tarnish your name. Eric Frank Bagoole, a Civil Engineer elucidates that it’s advisable to be calm if offended by a colleague with narcissistic behavior because their joy is in knowing that they have the power to upset you. He notes that they act respectively even when they cross the line. He highlights that don’t shy away from communicating with them and noting how they offended you because failure to do so, will offer them power to offend you even more. If they don’t reform, take the matter to the HR because such bullies can make the workplace hell. Bagoole urges workers to avoid personal conversations while dealing with narcissists as they can use it against them. Also, do away with rumors discussing other co-workers, if narcissists start such conversations, change the subject or walk away. He adds that don’t take responsibility for their behavior. Experts say that they understand it as a personality disorder, recognise their positive attributes, since everyone has something good about them. Remind yourself of the positive qualities of your co-worker. For instance, they may be very good at taking control of a difficult situation when others don’t want to put themselves forward, and so forth.
