International Men’s Day: How positive masculinity can shape a better society

Positive masculinity is a perspective through which the engagement of men and boys has been used to support the broader movement for gender equality and women's empowerment (GEWE). This is according to the African Union (AU). Traditionally, men are taught to be self-reliant, strong, dominant and unemotional. Societal and peer pressure to live up to these narrow, often harmful stereotypes is what causes toxic masculinity. And the pressure doesn’t just negatively impact men – it negatively impacts all of society. As Rwanda joined the world to celebrate International Men’s Day, we look at the role positive masculinity can play in building a better society. The day which is celebrated every year on November 19 aims to highlight the social issues that men and boys face and to celebrate their achievements in the economic, social, cultural and political spheres. According to Fidèle Rutayisire, Executive Director of the Rwanda Men’s Resource Centre (RWAMREC), positive masculinity invites men to deeply question the way they see themselves and the way society expects them to behave as men. “It is also about challenging and changing harmful norms and stereotypes associated with “being a man”, especially the adoption of violent, dominating, and power-abusing masculine behaviors,” he said. Rutayisire mentioned that promoting positive masculinity through gender transformative approaches is one of the main ways RWAMREC use to contribute to the achievement of gender equality and ending gender-based violence, including intimate partner violence in Rwanda. “Through positive masculinity,” he continued, “boys and men learn to see themselves as caring partners and fathers and women and girls as human beings with the same rights and abilities. Men who embody positive masculinities are “transformed men” who do not fear doing their share of unpaid care work, for example, which allows women to use more time in areas that were previously inaccessible to them such as income generation activities and leadership roles; and pursue careers they are passionate about regardless of what the gender box dictated to them.” According to Rutayisire, the benefits of promoting positive masculinity are not exclusively for women because men also benefit from it. “For example,” he said, “they get to spend quality time with their families, particularly their children, where they learn to be positive fathers and parents who display non-risky behavior, and this is something that children always learn from. They learn to express their emotions as well.” He concluded that positive masculinity can help in creating a more gender-just Rwandan society where men and women equally share roles and responsibilities in raising families and governing society through equality and respect. Annette Natukunda Mukiga, a feminist also believes that teaching boys positive masculinity can help build a better Rwandan society because given that it has benefits at individual, family and society levels. “For example,” she said, “this would help boys to be better connected with their emotions leading to better relationships with those around them, improved mental health, as well as not seeing domination and violence as acceptable male behaviours.” Mukiga also declared that parents, especially fathers can help their sons to embrace positive masculinity starting from a young age by being present, having emotional connection with them, modelling positive masculinity behaviours like respecting girls and women, and contributing to care work, among others. She added: “Children learn by observation more than anything else. Mothers also can help by not reinforcing negative masculinity behaviour, encouraging their sons to express their emotions, distributing chores among boy and girl children fairly, etc.” However, she said that promoting positive masculinity is just one piece of the equation because “engaging men and boys should never be seen as the end goal but as a means to an end – to achieve gender justice for all.”

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International Men’s Day: How positive masculinity can shape a better society