In a country where faith often defines identity, what happens when love leads two people to cross religious boundaries? Responses to this question have included both positive and negative opinions, with some people agreeing while others disagreed with, or disliked, the idea of interfaith marriage. For example, when Jeanette Mushimiyimana, 32, who was raised in the Seventh-day Adventist faith, met her husband, Sumani Gatera, 38, a practicing Muslim, more than a decade ago, he asked her to convert to Islam so they could proceed with marriage according to Islamic customs. ALSO READ: Interfaith marriage: Is it always wrong? His request was influenced by pressure from his family. They every so often questioned his decision to marry someone outside their faith. Despite her beliefs, Mushimiyimana chose to convert to Islam out of commitment to their relationship. Sumani was patient and supportive throughout the process, never pressuring her or making her feel inadequate, she recalls. He understood that embracing a new faith would take time. Together, they were able to complete all the necessary marriage procedures after three years in the relationship. ALSO READ: Building family resilience is essential for a more resilient and cohesive Rwandan society After five years of marriage, however, she began to experience a deep sense of spiritual emptiness. While she had embraced Islam out of love and respect for her husband, she gradually realized that her connection to the faith lacked personal conviction. “My internal reflections, coupled with constant questions and concerns from my family and close friends, many of whom struggled to understand why I had left my childhood faith and re-evaluated my spiritual journey. Over time, it became clear to me that I had converted not out of belief, but to please my husband and his family, yet my heart remained rooted in the faith I was raised in,” said Mushimiyimana. “After careful consideration, I decided to return to my Adventist roots. To my surprise, my husband supported my decision when I told him. We have now been married for 15 years. Changing didn’t bring any form of conflict between us. The only difficulty sometimes comes from his family members who still expect me to dress a certain way or ask me to return to Islam.” Despite the occasional pressure from the husband’s family, the couple remains strong and united in their marriage. They are raising three children and have agreed to allow them the freedom to choose their own religious paths. “It’s possible to have a successful marriage even when you come from different religions as long as there is love, respect, and mutual understanding. The problem is that many Rwandans still believe that religion alone should determine whether two people can be together. In reality, it’s not religion that builds a home but how well the couple understands and supports each other. I have seen so many people give up on love because they let religious differences stand in the way. If both partners are willing to make it work and find common ground, then the relationship can thrive.” Gatera said that once he began to separate personal identity from religious affiliation, his outlook changed. “At first, I was hurt and confused. I felt like her changing religion meant she was redefining our family and the traditions we had built. But with time, I came to understand that it’s just religion. It doesn’t define her entire being. Her values, and her love for our family, because all those never changed,” he said. “That’s when I chose to let go and support her decision to return to the Adventist church. Peace in our marriage mattered more than winning a spiritual tug-of-war. I never wanted to be the one standing in the way of her spiritual growth. I’m genuinely happy for her now. Of course, deep down, I’d be happier if she came back to Islam but I don’t believe religion should be a wall between two people committed to raising a family together.” ALSO READ: Family resilience: New intervention to address intergenerational trauma, enhance family harmony Joy Rucyahana, a Pastor at Worship Harvest Ministries, said that while love may bring people together, spiritual differences can gradually drive them apart. From denomination clashes to church loyalty and cultural expectations, the challenges of interfaith or inter-denominational marriages are real and often underestimated. “When you're dating, there's space to explore values and beliefs. But once marriage becomes a spiritual covenant, it’s no longer just about emotions. You’re entering a bond rooted in faith. And faith is rarely negotiable. People are willing to die for what they believe. So, unresolved differences can lead to deep friction later on,” she said. Pastor Rucyahana also said that many couples believe love alone is enough. She said: “But after the honeymoon phase fades, people often return to their spiritual foundations. That’s when hard questions arise; where will you worship? Will you pray together? These aren’t minor issues, they’re fundamental to a lasting relationship. Sadly, many couples don’t address them until it’s too late.” Pastor Rucyahana added that in marriage, the man is biblically regarded as the head. And when a wife’s beliefs differ from her husband’s, she may struggle to freely practice her faith. ‘Two of the biggest silent threats to marriages’ If she resists his spiritual leadership, he may feel disrespected, creating tension and conflict. She explained: “Church culture can intensify the strain. As some religious leaders expect members to marry within their congregation. And when someone has been active in the choir, or worship team, the fear of losing that community adds pressure. Two of the biggest silent threats to marriages today are differences in faith and finances. “We counsel so many broken people who genuinely loved each other but overlooked these critical issues and they later became the silent forces that tore their homes apart.” She said that churches need to take these things seriously during premarital counselling. “People shouldn't just get married because they've fallen in love. We have to ask hard questions, because advice only works if people open their hearts. But many couples just want to pay the marriage fee and move on. They don't want accountability, and that's where the danger lies. Pastors cannot counsel couples by force; they have to want that counsel as well. Marriage is not just a contract, but a covenant.” Saidi Murenzi, 28, who grew up in a household where two faiths co-existed said that it wasn’t always easy but it was filled with celebration, discovery, and moments of confusion. “With a Muslim father and a Christian mother, my childhood meant going to both mosque prayers and Sunday church services, celebrating Eid and Christmas, and trying to navigate the spiritual duality in a home shaped by both love and religious tension. Neither of my parents ever discouraged me from exploring the other’s faith. Out of respect for our father, our mother even encouraged us to practice Islam,” he said. While the interfaith marriage initially worked, it eventually succumbed to pressure from extended family members who disapproved of the union. His parents eventually divorced, leaving a lasting impact on their children who, to this day, still grapple with questions of faith and identity. “My dad was constantly criticized and even bullied by his relatives for marrying a Christian. Eventually, that pressure became too much and he separated from my mom. That’s when I realised that sometimes, love alone isn’t enough to survive religious pressure,” Murenzi said. “Even after the separation, the confusion was passed on to us because we were expected to choose which path to follow. To this day, I’m still figuring it out. I may not yet know which religion I’ll ultimately follow, but I do know that I can marry someone from another religion. If there is love and mutual understanding, religion can come later. When love leads, everything becomes easier.”
