Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed citizens and leaders of the East African Community (EAC) and the Southern African Development Community (SADC), gather 'round as we embark on a most peculiar politico-medical consultation. Our patient today is none other than the Democratic Republic of Congo (DR Congo), a nation exhibiting symptoms of a severe malaise: chronic denial and intransigence. It is time to diagnose and prescribe a cure for this ailing giant. On February 7-8, 2025, in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, the world will witness a most extraordinary gathering—not just another diplomatic summit, but a full-scale politico-medical intervention. Please imagine this summit in a different way—when heads of states are specialist doctors attending a serious medical condition and patient. The day has come. Heads of state from the EAC and SADC will put on their white coats, armed with stethoscopes and diagnostic charts, as they convene to treat the most puzzling patient in modern history. The DR Congo, personified by its ever-evasive, excuse-finding, and reality-denying president, Félix Tshisekedi. The agenda? To finally diagnose and prescribe treatment for the chronic dysfunction that plagues the DR Congo—denial, intransigence, and self-inflicted wounds, all wrapped in a desperate need for a scapegoat named Rwanda. A sick patient who insists is in perfect health The patient, Mr. DR Congo (alias: President Tshisekedi), arrives at the summit unruly, confused, and screaming at Rwanda before even taking a seat. Doctor! Doctor! Rwanda stole my minerals, gave me M23, and now it’s blocking my prosperity! The doctors exchange knowing glances. This is textbook delusion. But fear not, for this is no ordinary medical team. Dr. Samia Suluhu Hassan, the internist, will check the failing organs of the DRC—corruption, mismanagement, and economic malpractice. Dr. Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa, the pathologist, will examine the cancerous effects of MONUSCO and SAMIDRC, foreign peacekeepers who have entrenched the very chaos they claim to prevent. Dr. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, the psychiatrist, will dissect the severe psychological projections and paranoia that fuel the anti-Rwanda hysteria. Dr. William Ruto, the radiologist, will conduct scans to reveal economic blockages, including the sheer absurdity of DRC’s foreign policy tantrums, such as the campaign against Visit Rwanda. Dr. Salva Kiir, the pediatrician, will tackle the childish, babyish tendencies of the patient—his inability to take responsibility and his frequent temper tantrums against reality. With the patient strapped into the examination chair—screaming about balkanization and how Rwanda has stolen Kivu—the summit begins. The internist’s report: The body is rotten from within Dr. Samia Suluhu Hassan, after a thorough internal examination, delivers an alarming report: The circulatory system (the economy) is clogged with corruption. The DR Congo, a nation blessed with every resource imaginable, somehow remains one of the poorest. The nervous system (leadership) is malfunctioning. Decision-making relies on hysteria rather than logic, and policy is dictated by the loudest conspiracy theorist in the room. The immune system (governance) is compromised. The Congolese leaders attack Rwanda to cover their own failures, blaming external forces rather than addressing internal decay. Patient DR Congo, she sighs, you are not sick because Rwanda exists. You are sick because you refuse treatment. The Internist's Perspective: The DR Congo's internal organs—its political and social structures—are riddled with corruption and inefficiency. The leadership's refusal to confront these issues head-on is akin to a patient ignoring a festering wound. As political philosopher John Rawls aptly stated, Many of our most serious conflicts are conflicts within ourselves. Those who suppose their judgments are always consistent are unreflective or dogmatic. The pathologist’s report: Tumors feeding on chaos Dr. Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa presents a deeper analysis. Upon examining the tissue samples of the DRC's policies, we find malignancies in the form of scapegoating and misinformation. These cancerous cells divert blame onto external entities, particularly Rwanda, instead of addressing the systemic issues within. The cancerous tissue in the DR Congo isn’t just corruption—it’s foreign dependency on MONUSCO and SAMIDRC, the so-called peacekeeping forces. MONUSCO has been in DR Congo for over 20 years, yet insecurity has worsened. Instead of treating the disease, MONUSCO feeds off instability like a parasite. If peace comes, MONUSCO loses its multi-billion-dollar job. SAMIDRC, the SADC force deployed in 2023, has not been much better. Instead of silencing guns, it has played the role of highly paid, heavily armed spectators in a war they neither understand nor control. Mnangagwa, shaking his head, delivers his diagnosis: The DR Congo is like a man who hires firefighters and then pays them to pour gasoline on the flames. Rwanda is not your problem—your addiction to foreign babysitters is. The psychiatrist’s report: Projection, Paranoia, and a need for scapegoats Dr. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, the psychiatrist, leans in with an intense gaze. Agrees with Dr. Mnangagwa, saying his observations aligns with Freud's concept of denial, where an individual rejects uncomfortable truths despite overwhelming evidence. The DRC suffers from severe psychological projection, he explains. The DRC exhibits a classic case of projection, attributing its internal failures to external actors. This defense mechanism hinders self-awareness and perpetuates conflict. As Freud noted, The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others. When the Congolese government commits atrocities, it accuses Rwanda of doing the same. When the state fails, it blames M23—a movement born out of Kinshasa’s own failure to honor peace agreements. Instead of addressing the real enemy—FDLR genocidaires roaming freely in DR Congo— the government pretends Rwanda is the villain. As he scratches his head, Sigmund Freud once said, Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity. The DRC’s neurosis is evident: rather than dealing with its contradictions, it creates an imaginary enemy. The radiologist’s report The first doctor’s reaction goes to Visit Rwanda vs. Who Would Visit Congo? Dr. William Samoei Ruto bursts out laughing before even beginning his report. “Advanced imaging reveals blockages in the DRC's economic arteries. The nation's repeated attacks on Rwanda's economic interests, from targeting businesses to obstructing trade, are self-destructive behaviors that impede regional prosperity.” Adding: “It's as if the patient is tightening its own bandage, cutting off vital circulation.” The patient’s foreign policy is... how do I put this? A complete joke. Let’s talk about the foolish decision to fight ‘Visit Rwanda.’ I found it to be “Don’t visit East Africa.” DRC’s Foreign Minister wrote to Arsenal, PSG, and Bayern Munich, demanding they stop their partnership with Rwanda. And what did these clubs do? They ignored the letter because of its hate based tune. Since, let’s be honest, who is booking a vacation to the DRC instead of Rwanda? Even if they agreed, what would the alternative be? ‘Visit Congo’—a country where over ninety percent of the territory has no roads? Dr. Ruto shakes his head: Patient DRC, I prescribe a dose of reality. Stop fighting ‘Visit Rwanda.’ Instead, fix your own country so that someday, just maybe, someone might actually want to visit you. The pediatrician’s report: Babyish traits in leadership Dr. Salva Kiir, the pediatrician, delivers his findings. The DRC leadership displays infantile behaviors: temper tantrums, finger-pointing, and an inability to take responsibility. Tshisekedi acts like a child who spills milk and screams that Rwanda did it. The government throws hissy fits instead of governing. Until the patient learns emotional regulation, he warns, progress will be impossible. The future generation—some of the children of the DRC—are growing up in an environment poisoned by ethnic hatred, division and taught how to be cannibals. Discrimination against Congolese Tutsi, Hema and Banyamulenge—deprives these young souls of a harmonious upbringing. As Carl Jung wisely stated, Shame is a soul-eating emotion. Final prescription: Take the medicine or stay sick The summit’s doctors reach a conclusion: One: Drop the anti-Rwanda obsession. Two: Expel FDLR and stop harboring genocidaires. Three: End corruption and invest in infrastructure. Four: Stop using foreign peacekeepers as a crutch. Five: Grow up. Take responsibility. Govern like adults. As the meeting ends, Tshisekedi storms out, yelling that the summit is pro-Rwanda. But the doctors know they’ve done their job—delivering truth to a patient who refuses to heal. And so, the DR Congo stumbles on, a sick giant refusing medicine, blaming the doctor for its disease. The reaction of the doctors and nurses As Patient DR Congo, also known as President Tshisekedi, stormed out of the consultation room, banging the door behind him and muttering something about Rwanda controlling everything, the doctors exchanged weary glances. Around them, a team of nurses—diplomats, security officials, and advisors—stood in stunned silence, clutching their clipboards and adjusting their surgical masks. Some whispered among themselves, wondering aloud how a patient so obviously afflicted by a debilitating disorder could so arrogantly reject treatment. One of the nurses, a seasoned diplomat from Tanzania, sighed and shook his head. We have seen many patients, he muttered, but never one so committed to his own demise. Another nurse, a Kenyan intelligence officer, wiped his glasses and remarked, Doctor Museveni’s psychological evaluation was spot on. This is full-blown paranoia, mixed with delusions of grandeur. He actually believes he’s healthy. A particularly vocal nurse, a Burundian security analyst, stepped forward and addressed the room. If Tshisekedi continues like this, he warned, his country will implode, and then he will claim Rwanda detonated it. The Zambian nurse standing beside him nodded vigorously: He is like a man who refuses to fix a leaking roof and then screams that his neighbor stole his sunshine. A Motswana diplomat, ever the pragmatist, flipped through DR Congo’s latest intelligence reports and laughed. Look at this. He’s writing letters to European football clubs while his country burns. This is beyond illness—it’s suicidal idiocy. A South African security official, a veteran of regional peacekeeping missions, sighed heavily and threw his surgical gloves onto the table. We deployed SAMIDRC to help, but Tshisekedi is more interested in conspiracy theories than actual security. Maybe we should let the patient discharge himself. In the corner, a nurse from Rwanda silently observed, taking notes. This is classic self-sabotage, he finally said. A nation this rich should be prosperous, but instead, it is crying about Rwanda while hosting the very forces that destroyed its people—FDLR. The patient isn’t just sick; he’s actively injecting himself with poison and blaming the doctor for his pain. As the nurses whispered among themselves, the head doctors—Presidents Suluhu, Mnangagwa, Museveni, Ruto, and Kiir—exchanged a final look. They had done their duty. They had provided the diagnosis, recommended the treatment, and even offered follow-up consultations. If the patient refused to take the medicine, what more could they do? And so, as the nurses packed up their notes and the doctors removed their white coats, the DR Congo was wheeled out of the hospital—still sick, still in denial, still blaming the doctor for its self-inflicted wounds.
