How to overcome perfectionism

The following is a definition of perfectionism as ‘copy and pasted’ from an article by a syndicated columnist and consultant Odette Polar, who helps companies and teams work smarter. “Being described as a perfectionist often carries a positive connotation. It implies high standards and a keen attention to detail. If you are on the receiving end, you can generally count on work being provided that is of excellent quality. If you are the carrier of that title, however, it is very likely that you pay a high price. Perfection is often coupled with a strong tendency to obsess over things and be overly compulsive. This can be unproductive, frustrating, and often unhealthy.” A ten-year study of more than 9,000 managers conducted by Human Synergistics, found in 1994 that 18 percent of the managers were perfectionists. They had a 75 percent higher incidence of illness than their better-adjusted office mates Let us start from the beginning how does one become a perfectionist? It starts when one is being patted on the back for every good thing they do, the person eventually becomes so addicted to compliments that they will strive to be the best in everything they do. In a typical classroom, while other kids get time to play around and be naughty, the perfectionist will make extra effort to gain the teacher’s approval. The child is thrilled by solving problems that are even beyond the teacher’s knowledge! The child’s back is often hunched from carrying heavy books and they can be spotted wearing reading glasses at a very early age. Their parents make it worse by over praising the perfect child whom even visitors will commend for their tidiness, good manners and brains. So this child spends every effort striving to be the best. They know no failure; they cannot accept criticism and competition. To attain success, the child knows know bounds -sleepless nights, lack of playtime (which makes Jack a dull boy) and simply not accepting to be average. This is the trend of their life to adulthood. Due to their better performance and zeal, perfectionists are often in leadership positions and drive their teammates mad! It is rare to find people with a similar vigor to accomplish things, therefore the perfectionist will not trust others with sensitive tasks and will often be overworked leading to stress related health problems. Aside from the fact that they expect a lot from others in their cycles, perfectionists are always hard on themselves. The perfectionist will at times avoid taking risks for fear of failure and this makes them stagnant in the same projects that they beat others in. When faced with failure in life, it can be devastating to the perfectionist while it is merely a learning experience for normal people. Wait till they start a family. The perfectionist will bog people down with his or her demands, especially those that they are responsible for. Perfectionists will ruthlessly drive their children to follow in their footsteps, not allowing them to develop personalities or even careers of their own! This kind of upbringing can be quite helpful in keeping the child from trouble, but the child at times needs to be in trouble, so as to voluntarily keep away from it. Do you think you fall into this category of people? I can be a perfectionist at times but I have realized it tampers with my well-being especially in cases of failure which is inescapable in life. I have also learnt the hard way that one cannot be good at everything. So how are we, a society of perfectionists (most elites fall into this group) going to overcome this sickness before it ruins us? Yes, we need to drive ourselves the extra mile to attain desired development goals. But do we want to suffer from the various health problems that people in the developed world are facing because of pushing themselves too hard? If it wasn’t for resultant poverty and ignorance, the laid back African atmosphere dominated by social cohesion, rather economic revolution would be a prescription to ailing ‘workaholics’ whose hearts have failed as a result not taking a break from duty. In a bid to meet their unrealistic goals, perfectionists will work overtime, denying their families time or choosing the single noncommittal life! Breaking throughAccording to the article by Odette Polar, earlier mentioned, to break away from perfectionism one should recognize the difference between an acceptable level of performance and a perfect level of performance. In setting standards one should consider if they are really attainable both for their teammates and themselves and involve others in the process. Trusting others to accomplish tasks will allow you to share responsibilities and split work instead of shouldering everything. Even the Bible, I believe in the book of Mathew, invites those who are heavy-laden to share their burdens with God.s Ends