Sandra Teta is safely back home. A victim of intimate partner violence, Teta arrived in Kigali from Kampala, along with her children and parents, much to the delight of her loved ones, friends and well-wishers. It is hard to even begin to imagine what the mother of two went through in the days leading up to the intervention of her parents and the Rwandan High Commission in Uganda. Intimate partner violence is happening in our midst and it comes in different forms. The trend in recent years has been deeply concerning. For instance, Jean Damascene Ntezimana, from Rwamagana, murdered his 7-month pregnant wife in 2018, while another Rwandan, Jean Uwizeye, who’s based in Sweden, was recently found guilty of murdering his wife. In 2019, Augustin Ndabereye, the former vice mayor in charge of economic development in Musanze District, assaulted his wife who was then rushed to the hospital. Fortunately, she survived. We could go on and on… The common denominator in each of these cases is that neighbours, family, and friends often knew about the on-going abuse before the worst happened or the victim narrowly escaped death. Yet, we often do little, if any, as a community, as neighbours, or as friends, to intervene in such unhealthy, dangerous relationships. This, despite all the red flags. Intervening in abusive marriages or relationships should not be seen as meddling, even if the victim may put on a brave face. It does not amount to interfering with the couple’s private life. It’s worse when some people start blaming the victim instead. Some even try to justify domestic abuse. This intimidates victims into silence – often until it’s too late. At the very least, helping to prevent domestic violence and abuse is a moral obligation for everyone. In case you’re unable to approach the victim or to confront the abuser, you can speak out on behalf of the victim by alerting the police, criminal investigative bodies, or even local authorities. We must not sit idly by in the face of domestic violence as this only emboldens wife-beaters, husband-beaters, and abusive partners in general. Silence only enables abuse and perpetuates the culture of domestic violence with impunity.
