Did you know that you can actually be single and happy? If you’re sad while single, there is a possibility of not being happy either, while dating or married. True happiness isn’t derived from other people, but it starts from within. Happiness can be created with or without a relationship. People who open their ears to society pressure to get married, find themselves in stressful situations that are hard to escape. For instance, low self-esteem while questioning themselves if they aren’t good enough to be noticed by possible suitors, lovers and worse more. Lynette Isaro has found peace in singlehood and is waiting for her prince charming without pressure. She explains that when she clocked 30 years of age, she assumed that hope was lost and perhaps was longing to have kids so badly before age 32. But at 33, she is still single, with no kids. However, she has trained herself to calm down and has realised that there is more to life than just dating. Reading books and having conversations with people in relationships, she is convinced that love will find her while busy having fun, making silly mistakes and learning from them, adventuring and finding a work-life balance, but mostly pruning her bad behavior to fit the qualities of the ‘right guy’ she is searching for. She explains that the mistake most people make is to pause their lives and all that rotates around them, in the name of finding love, a thing she says, just steals joy and leaves people desperate that some of them have ended up making poor choices which have affected their lives. Isaro is of the view that singleness is fun for her since she is busy pushing herself to take on great career risks and opportunities to have enough money to save and some to spend on herself. For her, being able to provide for herself each and everything she needs, fills her heart with joy and lowers expectations of getting that from a man. “Having enough time as a single lady has enabled me to meet new people and create more friendships, which some have turned into a great support system. I also have enough time with my family,” she states. Isaro carries on that she has been able to understand herself and what she really wants or not which has made it clear of the things she is searching for in a potential guy, unlike before when she had no purpose or strong reasons for dating. Irene Gakumba, a family counselor notes that even if your past relationship ended in pieces, dust yourself off the pain and forgive yourself for the blame and guilt and embark on the journey of self-care. ‘If you need counseling, go for it. If you need to revamp your wardrobe, do it. If you require a makeover, pedicure or manicure, a holiday, gym, spa, then do all that. With time, seeing yourself look good, refreshed, and healthy reminds you of how beautiful and confident you’re. For her, being single should be a reminder of how strong, beautiful, handsome and amazing someone is which is why negativity shouldn’t be given room. She believes in the power of positive affirmation. Gakumba urges reciting audibly all the great character and virtue about yourself, as with it, it will cause a great impact to you. She highlights that spending time with people who make you feel happy, appreciate you and encourage you to support yourself to be better in all aspects, spiritually, morally, and career-wise. The counselor states that being next to people who know your worth allows you to be comfortable with yourself. She also stresses that singleness allows an individual to fall in love with themselves first, since that way, it can be easier to love other people. She says that when you know how to treat yourself, you set standards on how people should treat you. Gakumba notes that many people have lost who they are the moment they enter relationships because they completely turn into other beings just to please their partners, which isn’t healthy. She believes that you don’t have to change who you are to be accepted or loved and encourages you to be able to tell when energies are unmatched.
