‘The struggles of raising an autistic child’- a mother’s experience

Cassandra (not real names) had her son in 2017, and just like any other parents, along with her husband, they felt blessed and celebrated their first born child. When her son turned one year and a half, she realised he was acting strange and different from how other children behave. He would drool excessively and his way of eating was also odd. “But we didn’t worry so much about it; we thought he will be fine as he grows,” she recalls. But by the time he was three years old, the child couldnt speak, was hyperactive and very aggressive. This is when they consulted a paediatrician, who told them that their son was autistic. Things fell apart for the couple; their marriage was affected, as they both worried about what was to become of their son. “My husband started abusing our son. He would beat him and order him to behave normally. We reached a point of wanting to get a divorce because he also blamed me, saying that I was responsible for our son being autistic yet I tried my best while I was pregnant,” she narrates. “At some point, I got desperate and started visiting ‘native doctors,’ but it didnt help. I was left with no option and imagined my son turning five years old with this condition. He was in school but I noticed that even his teachers couldn’t understand his condition, they mistreated him,” she adds. Everything was failing them when she decided to take her child out of school, and wait on whatever else would eventually save her son. But in the meantime, she would take the child to a speech therapist, to deal with his communication problems. “That’s when I met another woman, a mother who was also taking her child for therapy, and she told me about an organisation, Autism Echo Africa Organisation. I decided to give it a try and see the outcome.” Autism Echo Africa Organisation is a social enterprise that aims at improving the standards of living of autistic children through raising awareness, advocacy and education support services. When she approached them, Cassandra says the first thing she noticed was their compassion. “They sounded so passionate about what they do and I got impressed. They gave me an assistant, who goes to school with my son, she helps her with academics, social and communication activities.” The organisation also has another program for parents, where they help you understand the child’s condition and share with you some tips that are very helpful for the child. “My son has now started speaking. It has been eight months since I started working with him- he is trying to communicate, he is now calm and has stopped being aggressive. It’s a miracle, everyone who knew my son can now see huge progress in my son’s behaviour when they meet today. And this also saved our marriage.” Dealing with an autistic child According to Earlyne Igiraneza, founder of Autism Echo Africa Organisation (AEA), there are many different approaches to support the development of your autistic child-good starting points include your paediatrician or the health professionals who assessed your child for autism. Igiraneza says that other parents who have children on the autism spectrum can be excellent sources of information. “At AEA, there are support groups, we provide contact information of other parents with autistic children so that they can share with you the experience and encourage you to inform yourself about autism and how to help your child based on their past experiences,” she says. The use of reinforcement is vital in helping a child with autism at school, at home wherever the child is. This is a good way of encouraging and promoting good behaviour in your child, and it discourages bad behaviour. Parenting an autistic child may pose some extra challenges. After a diagnosis of autism, it can bring about many different feelings for parents or guardians, some may feel an initial period of panic or distress, and this is completely normal, she went on. “When some parents realise that their child has such an illness, they may experience a feeling of grief and loss for a future that they had anticipated. While some feel a relief, as they are able to put a name to their child’s issues and they now know the child’s condition.” Parents should focus on the strength of a child. They should focus on what the child is interested in and do their best to support their child’s strength. Igiraneza concluded by encouraging parents to not give up on their children, but rather, seek help from relevant institutions and with the right support, the child can get better with time.

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‘The struggles of raising an autistic child’- a mother’s experience