We all need a confidant, but not everyone can be trusted. Winning one’s trust doesn’t come easy, whether it’s your employer, colleague, or partner. You can’t build a friendship or relationship without trust. And at a certain point, most of us have been disappointed by those we trusted, but this doesn’t hinder us from trying our luck with other people. Experts say that the word ‘trust’ can be interpreted in several ways by different people, and it’s often one of those things that you aren’t able to describe, until you feel it. Trust can be described as a guaranteed dependence on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Imagine a scenario where a friend promises you a treat on your birthday, you agreed on the time to meet. You prepare yourself in time and dress to kill, you wait eagerly for their call for you to set off to the agreed venue. However, you do not hear from them. You’re saddened because you cancelled other important plans just to be available. They didn’t even bother to communicate. When you call asking why they never showed up, they instead give you excuses. Such an incident just leaves you frustrated and demeaned. Although sometimes things may take another turn due to crisis, or other reasons, communication is necessary. There is no harm in cancelling or postponing a plan, as long as you keep the people involved in the know. Sometimes what breaks trust is something considered minor, yet important, for instance, not keeping your word. Positive Psychology, a relationship website, states that poor communication is a major reason why relationships break down. Good communication includes being clear about what you have or have not committed to and what has been agreed upon. “Building trust is not without risk. It involves allowing both you and others to take risks to prove trustworthiness. To navigate this, effective communication is key. Without it, you may find the messages you have intended to send aren’t the messages that are received.” Daniel Ganza, a public relations expert, is of the view that trustworthiness is crafted by honesty, when you are caught lying to someone, even if it’s once, it’s a sign that you have breached that trust. He also says that when you make a mistake, own up to it, and request to be forgiven. “How can you trust someone who looks on while they’re in the wrong and even goes an extra mile to give excuses to defend their mistake? Admitting your mistake and accepting to be corrected is a level of maturity.” Ganza explains that sometimes all it takes is stretching a helping hand and showing kindness expecting nothing in return, as people tend to trust kind people because they give them a reason to. Mutesi Gasana, the CEO of Ubuntu Publishers, says that trust doesn’t come overnight, invest your emotions and time to build it. “Whether you have been hurt in the past, embark on the journey of healing and give other people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t allow your past pain to blind you about the good in other people,” she says. Gasana adds that always be consistent that the people at work, or in your circles don’t question who you’re since it’s easy to fail to understand you, a thing that can trigger a lack of trust. She also further says that allow people to know your values, likes, dislikes and so forth, that way, they can know what to expect from you, or how to treat you. “Give credit where it’s due, celebrate people when they achieve a milestone, appreciate them for their efforts, celebrate with others during moments of breakthrough,” Gasana adds. She also says that some people are worth trusting because they’re available when needed. It doesn’t mean that they’re idle, but they create time. And most importantly, respect others, the way you address them really matters. editor@newtimesrwanda.com
