I have come to terms with the fact that people’s opinions and behaviour differ—we see things through different lenses, but there is no harm in putting yourself in another person’s shoes. By definition, tolerance is the willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own. One of the reasons we are so quick to judge others is that we don’t take time to know them. But if we bother to know more about their lives, we would surely know why they differ in thoughts or actions. Some conversations go south because there is a need for one to be right and prove others wrong. Well, this year, I decided to be different and accept people for who they are. If their point of view is not the same as mine, it is okay, and maybe just ask why they think the way they do. Getting their explanations isn’t a bad thing. Life shouldn’t be complicated in arguments that are not even developmental. We ought to be tolerant of the people we stay with, for instance, their cultures or beliefs. Knowing about the things that others believe in is okay and doesn’t change who you are. For any proper communication, it’s pretty obvious that as one talks, others are listening, and not just to respond, but to understand. If we don’t give chance to others to communicate whatever they want to say, there is a possibility of jumping to conclusions. A study from Research Gate notes that responsive listening is widely assumed to be essential for well-functioning intimate relationships. Tolerance is giving others a chance to speak their mind but not thinking for them— of what they could have said or interpreted things. Imagine heading home after a long day and all you wish for is a warm bath and sleep, but unfortunately, you find your neighbour playing loud music. However uncomfortable it may be, things don’t always have to be in your favour, get something to distract you, and plan to rest at night. Tolerance is so hard, but it is necessary. If you think twice, some things that annoy us about others are not even that important but distract us from seeing the good in others. When we tolerate, we learn to appreciate people for who they’re, regardless of their flaws. Sometimes all it takes is patience. Give it time until you are sure you can take someone’s behaviour in even when it’s annoying. This is because you have no idea how patient people are with your character, just that they don’t tell you. The beauty about tolerance is that sometimes some situations are temporary, if you’re meeting someone for just one hour, why would you bother focusing on their nagging arrogance, or mean behaviour? Before long, it will pass. Perhaps, you can even focus your attention on something else or change your emotions. I know what it means to respect and accept other people’s values because I know the feeling of trying so hard or wishing to be understood or accepted. At the end of the day, creating a peaceful society would only be through loving people for who they are. At times we don’t even need to focus on our differences, where necessary, how about changing topics and creating meaningful connections? Tolerance is a virtue. It is a version of the golden rule in that, as we want others to treat us decently, we need to treat them decently as well. It is also a pragmatic formula for the functioning of society, as we can see in the omnipresent wars between different religions, political ideologies, nationalities, ethnic groups, and other us-versus-them divisions, writes Jefferson M Fish Ph.D. in his article, ‘Tolerance, Acceptance, Understanding’ published by Psychology Today.
