You may have heard people say that technology is destroying families. But is it really? According to some networked families, technology is helping them to connect and coordinate their lives and bring about shared moments of exploration and entertainment. On the other hand, some say that technology plays a major role in hindering family relationships, especially parent–child relationships and reducing communication among family members. The New Times talked to a cross-section of Rwandans who had their say. Sakina Amina Igeno, a resident in Kigali whose family uses technology, especially the internet, said that she cannot blame technology for destroying family relations since she grew up in a family that was not close where members rarely conversed about personal matters. She declared that later when they adopted the internet at home, their interaction has increased because members can now ask each other if the network is working and can watch a movie together on Netflix. “On my side, the internet has connected us more than it has separated us. My family loves art and we are not outgoing. So, the best we can do is to find those things we love on the internet and share them with each other,” she said. “Internet provides us with an alternative to those things we enjoy without going out and creates that space for us to enjoy. It helps in that kind of a way,” she added. Bruce Mugwaneza, an IT engineer, believes that technology, especially using the internet and devices, have disconnected families for they tend to bond online more than they do in real life. “At home, you see everyone on the phone, watching news or other stuff. Instead of bonding, everyone is distracted in their own virtual world,” he said. “Technology has reduced interaction because before, parents would ask you how school or work was but now we don’t talk. You put on earphones and eat while watching stuff on Youtube.” Mugwaneza declared that people should connect in real life instead of relying on technology just to connect them. “It’s better to shut down the devices for some time because you would use it the rest of the time. An isolator app that disconnects networks can help. Giving people that option of disconnecting and teaching them about disconnecting once in a while would be good because disconnecting online means connecting physically.” Divine Akimana, a mother of one, said that for her, technology improves family relations because her family gets things to talk about when they are together. “When we are seated at home, everyone holding their phones and then one sees news or something that has just come up, we talk about it and it’s something that brings out a debate,” she said. She noted that however, at some point, technology reduces interaction between people and emotional personal talks if they only talk about things they see on the internet. She said that since her son has a phone and can access the internet, he uses it to learn English from cartoons on Youtube and to interact as well as play with other kids. As a mother, she uses parental control options to filter the contents her child sees on the internet, especially Youtube, for a safer experience online. Dudestar Levis, a videographer based in Kigali, said that as technology arose, talking to family members from wherever they are has been made easy, adding that on another hand, it is spoiling family relations since nowadays there are digital devices that make members busy and reduce their physical interaction. “Parents do not get enough time to talk to children so that they can learn from them. Sometimes, you visit your family and find everyone on chat and you don’t get time to talk. That family bond is not there,” he said. “There is medical technology where a woman can get pregnant without meeting a man and I wonder what happens if the parents do not meet. Where will the child get parents’ love? How a child grows up seeing them inspires him or her to love life and have hope for the future.” Levis noted that there is need for public awareness regarding how parents should make time to interact with their children—as part of their parenting responsibilities—instead of letting them fetch information from the internet which can affect their lives negatively.
