Manzi has issues with his identity. Because of his past, he has trouble accepting who he is and so takes on different personalities for the sake of fitting in. Who he chooses to become in that moment, depends on the person he’s with. Because of the need to always camouflage his identity, he has lost a sense of his true self, and has turned himself into a pathological liar. As a result, he has become a fraud, telling whatever tales that need to be told so as to be seen in his desired image. Mental health experts explain that such tendencies usually arise from having self-doubt, a trait that’s linked to imposter syndrome. Also termed as fraud syndrome, imposter syndrome is said to involve feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite one’s education, experience, and accomplishments. Healthline shows that one might develop imposter feelings if their parents; for example, pressured them to do well in school, compared them to their sibling(s), were controlling or overprotective, emphasised their natural intelligence, or sharply criticised mistakes. Imposter feelings represent a conflict between your own self-perception and the way others perceive you. Even as others praise your talents, you write off your successes to timing and good luck. You don’t believe you earned them on your own merits, and you fear others will eventually realise the same thing. Counsellor Shadia Nansasi says that a person with this condition finds it hard to believe in their capabilities, hence, can’t recognise their successes and the things they have managed to achieve be it in terms of work or social life. With relationships, such a person lacks honesty. They have fear and are always anxious about being rejected, she says. “When a person with such a thinking pattern is in a relationship, they will often look at the negative side of things, perceiving their relationship to be insecure. They might think they are not worthy of a healthy relationship, and so their actions reflect their thoughts. It’s hard to build a successful relationship with this type of thinking, that’s why such people end up sabotaging their relationships or marriages,” Nansasi says. Overcoming imposter syndrome Sarah Muzirankoni, a mall attendant, says one sure way to overcome this dilemma is to accept who we are. “When you know and accept your rightful identity, it’s easy to appreciate your good side and the bad one too. Keeping yourself in denial comes from the doubts you feed your mind,” she says. She adds that what one needs, is to trust their identity, appreciate their strengths and work on those traits that they are not so proud of. Nansasi recommends avoiding comparing one’s life with that of others. This normally leads to discontentment, which in the end leads to self-doubt. “Appreciate what you have managed to achieve instead of detesting what others have. Also, work on changing your mind-set. We are what we think; if you keep on thinking that you are a fraud that is what will happen. Think happy thoughts and live a positive and fulfilling life.”
