When looking for a house, location and appearance are usually what matter to people. But do you ever think about neighbours? Many people forget that getting a new home also means getting new neighbours. If these new neighbours happen to be inconsiderate, rude and obnoxious, you could find yourself in a miserable living situation. In some scenarios, they act friendly for the first few days or even months, and then their true colours come to light. Here are some characters and how to deal with them: The difficult neighbour These ones are good for a short time. Eventually, they complain about almost everything, for instance, how you park your car, or how loud your kids are. Holding a small gathering with your friends somehow nags them. They will approach the landlord even before discussing their concerns with you. Such neighbours start getting weird, they avoid you, and at times, prefer walking past you without so much as a greeting. They make you question if you did something to offend them, yet you don’t recall having any misunderstandings with them. Solution: For the sake of your own sanity, mind your business, and don’t take anything personal. When they seem moody around you, leave them to it. They should know, however, that you are also allowed to be moody from time to time. You can’t be the one they flip emotions on all the time. The no boundary neighbour These ones appear at your doorstep unannounced, and seem to know how your home operates more than you do. Even when they realise that it is not a good time for them to be there, they stay, perhaps completely unaware of the inconvenience they are causing. This neighbour is also pretty nosy. They want to know about your job, how much you earn, who you’re dating and everything that should not be of concern to them. Solution: The only way to manage this kind of person is to learn how to say “no”. Failure to do so will imply that you’re okay putting others people feelings ahead of your own. Feel free to decline their invitations. You can say, “Sorry I won’t be available”, “I won’t be able to host you today”, or “I have visitors over”. Also, limit the kind of information you give them. Even when they open up to you, choose what you tell them wisely. You don’t want to be the one whose life everybody knows. The neighbour who always borrows stuff These ones will knock at your door anytime to ask for something, like sugar, or some mobile money to buy cash power because the lights are out and they only have cash. Today it is drinking water, a frying pan, cooking oil, and the next, their gas is done and they want to make a simple meal at yours. Their borrowing is incessant. Solution: To keep a decent relationship with this kind of person, draw a line on what you can or cannot do. For instance, there will be no late night knocking to ask for salt. Advise them to plan ahead and only approach you when it is an emergency. Also, insist that what is borrowed is returned as you are not a charity organisation. The alcoholic neighbour These ones take binge drinking to a whole other level. I recall a neighbour who knocked on my door around 3am. At first, I thought they were thieves. But when I thought about it, would thieves really knock? So I pulled the curtain, only to find that my neighbour had mistaken my house for his. He was wasted and had even peed in his pants. Solution: Just keep your distance altogether, or perhaps as a good neighbour, suggest rehabilitation. They’ll definitely hate you for being a judgemental pain in their life, but you’ll be doing them a favour. The copycat neighbour This one always somehow buys the things that you buy. It’s almost as if they don’t like their own taste, or just want to keep up with yours. Each time they visit you, they ask about where you bought your things and the prices. They seem to like everything you possess, from chairs, perfume, hairstyle, car to clothes. Solution: They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so just be happy you inspire someone. The stalker neighbour This one is just one bush away from a restraining order. They follow your every move, at times without your notice. They want to know what you’re up to. They peep through their windows to see who your visitors are, what time you come in, and all that. You actually wonder how that helps them. Solution: You can only feel sorry for this one, it must be quite stressful when someone lives rent-free in another’s head. The suspiciously friendly neighbour They create conversations out of nowhere. They will tell you about anything just to grab your attention. Sometimes they even cook or bake and decide to share their food with you. They are always in a good mood and seem lively. Sometimes you have to wonder what their intentions are, maybe they are just nice, maybe not. Solution: Don’t get too close. People can be nice naturally, but you don’t want to gamble with that. Say hello, smile, but keep a safe distance. The always-down-for-a-party neighbour Yes, fun is necessary once in a while, but this specific neighbour takes partying to an extreme level. They hold parties and call friends over every other day who make noise till morning. This is their lifestyle, weekdays and weekends, you wonder when they ever work to pay for the house they rent. They don’t care if the noise is bothering you, even when you ask them nicely to reduce the volume of the music. Solution: You might have to talk to local authorities if you are going to get any sleep. You will definitely lose cool points for snitching but at this point, your wellbeing is far more important than being cool. The gossiping neighbour These ones are almost legendary. They find pleasure in gossiping about people and know so many ‘stories’ about different people, you wonder how they don’t get migraines. Most times, they exaggerate a story, what was a simple confrontation between two people somehow becomes a full ‘Rambo vs The Terminator’ fight. They spread rumours so fast, the truth doesn’t matter to them. Solution: It is best to ignore this one. Nothing you say will matter, if anything, even simply asking them what their problem is might end up a story about how you threatened to kill them. Choose peace. If you are okay with being a little petty, make up a story about them and watch their reaction in amusement when you tell them about it. You’ll notice that people do not usually like the taste of their own medicine.
