Noah and Belinda have been dating for five months; they met online and have never met each other in real life. That’s why when Noah proposed, Belinda was shocked, saying the entire thing was very new to her. Noah, who is pursuing his university studies abroad, believes what’s happening with the dating scene now shouldn’t be a surprise seeing that the world is going digital. Lately, social media and dating apps have proven to be dominating, and rewriting the dating scene. It’s no wonder many of us are experiencing anxiety when it comes to navigating the waters of modern romance. “I dont see any difference, just like people meet at church or supermarkets; online dating is the new way of meeting potential partners. There is no dark side to modern romance,’’ Noah says. He also thinks these changes are favouring those who used to find the ordinary dating scene intimidating. “At first I was afraid to even talk to girls apart from my sisters, but thanks to technology that has made it easier for shy boys like me. I proposed and she said yes, and we are both happy.’’ Just like Noah, many applaud these changes. But some people criticise them for downplaying the intimacy part of it. Laurance Musanabera a mother-of-three and a wife of over twenty years, explains that romance is a powerful force that makes you feel connected to someone in a deeper way and that with its gestures, both big and small; they make you feel especially cherished by your partner. She says that there are things which can be replaced by technology like shopping, working in the offices, or learning but not romance. “Why will I let my son or daughter meet the love of his life on the web? I know technology has brought a lot but I dont believe in modern romance. It is important to create that bond between a couple; the feelings and affection, expressing emotions and many other things that strengthen the relationship between two people,” she says. In his book, Modern romance Aziz Ansari explained that modern romance can be difficult and confusing. “We all search for the right person and even our idea of what ‘the right person means has changed radically in a very, very short amount of time. When I emerged in modern romance, I expected her to text first sometimes, but women kept thinking that men should text first which keeps creating drama and confusion between us,” he says in his book. He adds that sometimes modern romance can result in harassment and women are more likely to be affected. “Younger women are especially likely to be the target of harassing behaviours when using these platforms. Online harassment has become a regular feature of life on the internet; from social media sites to comment sections and dating platforms.’’ he added. Many have not fully adapted to the modern dating scene due to such fear and other negative aspects attached to it. Natacha Umulisa a businesswoman based in Rubavu district shares her view saying that, “I dont have enough experience with online dating platforms and modern romance, but I believe that it could be a good choice especially for those who are avoiding sexual activities before marriage or pressured marriages due to unwanted and unplanned pregnancies,’’ she says.
