Not everyone gets the chance to grow up with a father. But those who do, bear out that fathers make all the difference in one’s life—they are treasured for their exceptional love and care but above all, their ability to provide a sense of security and safety for their families. Last week, the world celebrated Father’s Day, acknowledging and celebrating these great figures in the lives of their children and that of families. Fathers and father-figures had the chance to revel in this love and gratitude; but such a day also serves as a time for reflection on what fathering really means. When he first became a father, Steven Tushabe says he was excited as much as he was terrified. He didn’t know what to expect and was scared he might not be a good father to his baby. “Fatherhood doesn’t come with a manual, and even the advice you are given or the information from books does little in helping you understand. You learn on the job and for what it’s worth, this experience has taught me a lot,” he says. It’s been five years now and, he says, the path to great fatherhood lies in not striving to be a better father, but in doing all you can to love your child the best way you can. “This is what matters. You give until you can’t give anymore because you want the best for your child. As men, our pride and satisfaction lies a lot in the ability to be there for our children and provide for our families.” Livingstone Buyinza, a father-of-three, says that fatherhood is life-changing. You stop living for only you and live for your children too, he says. As a father you have to lead by example; you don’t do what you don’t wish your kids to do because they learn from you. Therefore, you have to live by the values that you want your children to adopt, he adds. For Allen Kagisha, her father is her hero; “He has been there for us as a family from day one and I am grateful for that. And though he has never really had much, my father has always made sure that we never lack for anything.” The 30-year-old says her father has set the right tone in her life and that she has learnt from him not only as a dad, but also as a human. “My father is a man of principle, he values respect and integrity and he has made sure that we learn to value these aspects as well. Because of him, I have learnt the value of hard work and the beauty that comes with raising a solid family.” Kagisha says that drawing lessons from her dad, she considers that a good father needs to provide his little ones with unconditional love at all costs, love and teach them the corners of life and be there for them to protect and act as their source of guidance. Though her father has been distant, Erica Musinga says she is always grateful for the few moments she gets to spend with her dad. “I never grew up with my father but he has always made effort to be in my life and that of my siblings. I have come to learn that being a good father or parent doesn’t need perfection. You only have to do your best under the circumstances and be there for your children. This is what matters most.” Fathers, because of the outstanding role they play in their children’s lives, are often described as irreplaceable. One author had this to write; ‘Other people may try to fill his shoes, but no one’s shoulders are quite so high or broad. Dads are rocks: Amidst the storms of life, dads provide a stable foundation.’
