For many years Mutezinkwano endured sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) from her husband Ndayisabye. However, the couple, who hail from Mugina Sector of Kamonyi District, have turned around their marriage for the better, thanks to the support of gender champions in their church. Religion plays a significant role in Rwandan families and society. It is the foundation of many people’s beliefs and can be the source of stereotypes and biases, especially concerning women. HDI and Tear Fund—an international Christian based charity organisation—are implementing a programme dubbed the ‘Transforming Masculinities project’ which helps sensitise families on gender equality and family planning. The programme worked with different groups through structured small group discussions using Bible verses about gender equality. Themes included understanding sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) and how it affects our communities, addressing unequal power balance and privilege, and discussing positive masculinity. HDI starts with the head of the church and the deputy, as they are key influencers in Rwandan society. They then select 4 gender champions per church (2 men and 2 women) in charge of conducting community dialogues with at least 8 other people from the church, with an equal number of men and women. After eight weeks of training on sharing of household duties, power dynamics, and the biblical equality of men and women before God as well as before the law, Mutezinkwano and Ndayisabye testified about the usefulness of the programme: “I am a mother of three children with a 4th on the way. These training sessions were timely for us. God had a plan to restore our family and I learned so much about gender-based violence. We all experience all types of gender-based violence. When my husband would come home, my children and I used to be scared,” said Mutezinkwano. After the training, she added, they realized that GBV was disintegrating their family. Today, Mutezinkwano says, their relationship has improved. “Now, after a long day, we sit and talk together. My children and I are happy and joyous. Unlike in the past, my husband now helps me with the household duties,” she explained, “When I am busy with other activities, he can help cook. I thank the gender champions for this amazing programme and our church for offering this space so that we can learn and be transformed,” she said. On his part, Ndayisabye thanked the HDI for the transformative programme. “I used to believe that I was superior to my wife, but after the training on gender-based violence my mindset totally changed. We are equal. I am ready to educate other men in the community about the effects of gender-based violence,” he said. Juliette Karitanyi, the Director of Communications at HDI, thanked the graduates and partners for the time dedicated to this programme. She also commended the programme for having trained 48 couples, 12 gender champions and 3 faith leaders. She explained that HDI is intending to extend similar programmes to other faith congregations. Bishop Claudien Bimenyimana, head of Siloam church in Bugesera said that after the training on Transforming Masculinities, there was a change in attitudes around topics such as family planning and SGBV. Siloam Church was able to integrate the topics into their three weeks of marriage training for intended couples. “We teach them to build a family without conflict and to avoid having too many children because it causes financial strain, including the lack of school fees for children. We usually do this while using the manual that HDI provided, while highlighting scriptures to remind them that all are equal before God in Jesus; that we are one. We remind the man that he is not above the woman, so that they can become a living family,” he said.
