I do. I did. I am done. These were the inscriptions on Ikea Bello’s decoration for a party celebrating her divorce. Bello, a Nigerian doctor, went viral on social media after throwing herself an elaborate party to celebrate her divorce from her husband. Despite the backlash, her party is among the many others that are making divorce parties are a growing trend. Some people find them awkward while others think of them as a great way healing and moving on with life. On Scary Mommy, Katie Bingham-Smith writes that divorce parties are a thing, and women are signing their papers, then turning around and booking caterers, DJs, and celebrating the fact they are about to start the second chapter in their lives. “It makes sense when you really think about it. Divorce leaves everyone shaking in its wake. It’s hard. It’s brutal. It makes people uncomfortable and not sure what to say to you when they run into you at the grocery store deli,” she notes. Regardless of the trend, celebrating the end of a marriage, for some, comes off as cruel or rather, undignified. Carine Uwineza, a hairdresser, says celebrating the end of a marriage is inappropriate and a call for attention for one who does. “I find this really strange. It doesn’t make sense at all. Why would anyone do such a thing?” she wonders. Uwineza says she understands the whole concept of ‘moving on’ and healing but a divorce party is a notch higher, if not, extreme. Evans Sali, a businessman, says though he would never dream of doing such, he believes people have reasons for doing what they choose to do. “Everyone is different and to be honest, for what is happening in the world right now, a divorce party is too small compared to the strange things that people have done. As long as that party is what it takes for that person to heal and move on, why not?” Many cultures have rituals to mark the transition from married life to ‘singlehood’. In Judaism, a divorce document called a get is presented from husband to wife, in the presence of rabbis and witnesses, to spiritually dissolve the union. Divorcing couples in Japan smash a wedding ring with a mallet. Members of the North African Beidane ethnic group hold divorce parties to welcome women back into the community and signal to potential suitors that they are available to remarry. In western cultures, however, divorce is typically met with hushed silence, whispered gossip or sympathetic looks. Divorce isn’t commemorated – and certainly not celebrated. Until now, an article on the Guardian indicates. Maxwell Butera hasn’t heard of divorce parties. He is shocked that there are some people who think it’s a good idea to celebrate the dissolution of a marriage. In his view, however, people mourn their loss differently, and that for some, a divorce party is what can serve this purpose. “For some, this can be the best way of accepting what was, and find strength to embrace the next chapter of their life,” he says. Butera says, though he can never indulge in such, he isn’t against such parties as long as they are planned in ‘good faith’. He, nonetheless, says divorce parties are unhealthy and damaging, especially towards the ex-partner. “They inflict so much pain. No one deserves this regardless of how bad your marriage could have been. Throwing such a party can seem to be the right thing in the moment, but chances are one might end up regretting later.” He, therefore, says, unless one is doing this out of personal reasons and not to taunt their partner, a divorce party is uncalled for. After all the effort that people put into their wedding day, the day they formalize their divorce can often feel empty and awkward — on top of whatever emotions one might have about the end of a marriage. That’s why the divorce party has become quite the trend over the past few years, finding its way into celebrity gossip, movies, and many, many Pinterest boards, writes Sabrina Rojas Weiss in her article, ‘Divorce Parties: Inside The Trend That Makes Ending A Marriage Look Fun’.
