Parenting, for the most part, is worrying about how children will turn out. A number of parents question themselves on whether they are doing their best and if their children will turn out to be responsible adults. They worry if their children will be accountable, if they will lead an independent and fulfilling life. As a parent, however, there is only so much you can do. Belinda Uwase, a mother of one, says raising children into responsible adults means equipping them with skills that go beyond formal education. Children need life skills, as a parent, it’s your responsibility to give them the exposure to such skills, she notes. “I consider discipline and decision-making the most important. A child that lacks these skills in life can only go so far no matter what level of education they have,” she says. Teach your child to respect themselves and others too, let them have principles that govern their lives such that they are not tossed and turned by the raging force of social media, Uwase adds. She is also of the view that parents need not worry so much about their parenting journey. “Children also have a role to play in who they turn out to be. What parents have to do, is to be their best at raising them. However, they should not be consumed with anxiety and self-blame in case things don’t go as planned.” Another nightmare that so many parents battle with is when a child starts school. They worry about the fact that they cannot always be there to defend or speak up for them when they need them. With this, Beathe Uwayo, a family counsellor, says its relevant for parents to teach children to advocate for themselves right from a young age. Children are bound to encounter hurdles be it at school or any other place out of home. But as a parent, train your child to speak up when someone bullies or harasses them in any way. Teach them that it’s okay to speak up when need arises, in the process, this will teach them to be confident about who they are,” she says. The counsellor also points out another important aspect of critical thinking. “When a child is young, as a parent you make almost all important decisions for them. But as they grow up, children are required to analyse and make their decisions. This will be a hard task, however, for those who weren’t trained to build critical thinking,” she says. She recommends letting a child engage in different activities that require thinking. “Let them have interactions with other children, challenge their thinking by giving them certain tasks and let them learn through their mistakes. Through play, children express their thoughts, they try out new ideas, all of which help in building critical thinking.” Laban Bizimungu, a husband and father, is of the view that any parent who wants their child to have a bright future has to teach them how to face challenges. This, he says, is one of the most important qualities parents can help them develop. A child who lacks resilience is set up for failure. Anyone who wants to succeed in life has to have the ability to take on challenges, be resilient and persevering, Bizimungu says. He notes that children are equipped with such a trait by creating an environment where they are allowed to experiment a vast number of activities and allowed to take risks. “It’s always good to encourage your child to try new things, give them challenging tasks that will take them out of their comfort zones. Don’t forget to celebrate the small wins because these will always encourage them to work harder,” Bizimungu says.
