In this photo essay, I explore the question: What does it mean to be a mother? Having been raised in an orphanage, I never had the chance to meet my mother. This is why I embarked on this project to ask women the real meaning of being a mother. I talked with single mothers, young mothers and experienced mothers. Of particular interest to me were single mothers, as they have had a history of being ostracized in Rwandan culture. This series is made up of intimate portraits of single mothers in their homes and with their own words about their life and parenting experiences. Speaking to all the women featured in this essay, they all shared one thing in common; the determination for their children to succeed against all odds. My hope is this photo essay gives an insight into motherhood in Rwanda today. This is part of a bigger project on women and motherhood where I interviewed every type of mother: single mothers, young mothers, experienced mothers, grandmothers and women who didn’t have children. In ancient Rwanda, single mothers were considered an outcast, pariah, or viewed as someone who had cultural values and dignity for having had sex before marriage. Rwandans historically have placed the value of a girl or woman based on the dowry that her fiancé or husband provides to the woman’s family. A dowry could be a cow, or more common today, money. For a woman who has had a child out of wedlock, it becomes difficult for her to marry in the future. It is even much worse in the rural setup. Often, single mothers are viewed as prostitutes, even though the circumstances around her pregnancy could have been caused by rape, an accidental pregnancy or the abandonment or death of a partner. In years past, families would banish their unwed pregnant daughters to the islands in Lake Kivu or throw the women in rivers to drown because the Rwandan community felt that single mothers had no value. Many single women face additional challenges such as other men taking advantage of their vulnerable situation. During the coronavirus pandemic, single mothers have faced even more hardship from businesses closing and strict security measures put in place which has caused even more of a financial crisis for them and their children. Sadly, some men also take advantage of the dire economic situation of these women and force them into sexual relationships that women may not want. The women struggle with the reality of this difficult situation and many feel they are not able to refuse because their children need to be fed. Afissa Usanase, a resident of Kimironko Sector in Gasabo District, a single mother of a two-month-old baby, is seen hanging her child’s clothes on a cloth line. She is just 17 years old. For her, being a mother is having a child. Ernestine Uwamahoro, a resident of Gitega in Nyarugenge District, is a single mother with a three-month-old baby. She is 22 years old and a university student. For her, being a mother is accepting the responsibility of taking care of the little one. For Ernestine Uwamahoro, being a mother is accepting the responsibility – gracefully – of taking care of the little one. Ernestine Uwamahoro. Ernestine Uwamahoro taking care of herself after giving a shower to her child. Inès Uwase, 25, who lives in Biryogo neighbourhood in Nyarugenge District, is seen bathing her three-year-old daughter. Thérèse Tuyisenge, who also lives in Biryogo suburb in Nyarugenge District, is a single mother who gave birth to her son when she was just 14 years old and still in primary school. Thérèse Tuyisenge is now in senior-six studying economic and she is very excited to finish her study after dropping out many times after having her son at her young age. Thérèse Tuyisenge’s son is now eight years old. For her, being a mother is being like a God, teacher, and hero. Afissa Usanase is breastfeeding her two-month-old baby.
