After completing university, Nadia Ineza’s plan was to move out of her parents’ home and rent a place of her own. Naturally, she was excited about having a house to herself and following her own rules, and when she moved out, she invited a few friends over. Whereas visitors are wonderful to have around, she says, sometimes they overstep boundaries. Ineza says that on the day of the visit, before even sitting to ‘catch up’, one of her friends wanted to know much she paid for rent, which she found weird. “That aside, why do people think it’s okay to enter someone’s house with dirty shoes? Some things are just logical, if the host hasn’t asked you to enter the house with your shoes, then take them off because it is just etiquette. Don’t water down someone’s efforts of making the place look neat and clean,” Ineza says. Most people enjoy having visitors around; they lighten up the mood, you share laughter and meals, and generally have a good time catching up and reminiscing about old times, among other things. Nevertheless, there are behaviours that aren’t only disrespectful, but also awkward to the hosts, so much that they rather not tell the guest for fear of offending them. According to Irene Isimbi, a businesswoman in Kimironko, some visitors don’t know limits, the minute they enter someone’s house, they are all over the place before they’re even shown around. She recalls a visitor who toured her whole house including the bedrooms without her notice when she was in the kitchen cooking. “I was really disenchanted by this guest’s audacity to check my house without my consent. On taking her food to the sitting room, she had disappeared and was busy taking a tour of my apartment. This actually made me realise that the person just came for a house tour but not to see me,” she says. Isimbi adds that the tour wasn’t the most infuriating of incidents, it was when the visitor who happens to be a new friend started encroaching on her privacy, asking about what triggered the divorce with her ex-husband, and if all her kids are from one man, and so forth. For her, visitors ought to be sensitive and avoid discussions that may irritate or discomfort the host. She believes that unless someone is willing to trust you with their stories, or personal information, don’t ask. Isimbi says don’t rush to grab the TV remote and change to your favourite channel, unless you’re given permission. The host could be following up on a programme, and so your abrupt change may seem rude. She says that some people overstay their welcome, to the point that the host has to come up with excuses to get them to leave. “Sincerely, a guest who stays till midnight, even after notifying them that you’re sleepy or have an early morning, but remains seated and continuously talks comfortably is irksome. Learn to read signs that it’s time to go,” she says. John Mary Kamanzi, an educationist, shuns being so comfortable that if you’re offered alcohol, you drink yourself to waste. He notes that even if you’re excited to drink, self-control is key because if you misbehave, you will be the topic once you leave. “What image do you want people to have?” he asks. Kamanzi says that some people inconvenience their hosts, they say they are visiting but don’t specify that they will come with other people, so that the visitor can plan for more than one person, and to the host’s distress, welcoming three more that were not in the plan. He believes that it’s just basic courtesy to be specific to allow the host to prepare for your stay.
