we write applications, do interviews and/or sit for examinations for the important things in life like education, jobs and marriages. on top of that, we receive orientation and training. and yet when it comes to the most important thing-taking charge of a human life, our competitiveness is left up to our discretion. this is morally wrong because the hard truth is that some people do not qualify for parenthood. i’m talking about people who don’t know that it is not a child’s job to bear your burdens or solve your problems. these are women who get pregnant in order to coerce men into marrying them or to save a marriage. parents who force their children down a certain career path in order to feel superior to their peers and those who use children as pawns in fights with their spouses and other adults do not qualify. they act like their children owe them even though they did not ask to be born. then there are those men and women who are quick tempered, quick to use abusive language and quick to assault. they are unkind and hardhearted. they are the type who, when they get home, the place becomes silent as the grave. their children hide and are scared of criticism even for the tiniest thing. they instill self-hate in their children, make them timid and punish to relieve anger rather than to teach. there are people who think of their children as extensions of themselves rather than individuals who have their own personalities and interests. they impose their beliefs instead of just providing information and letting children choose so that you find a twelve-year-old fasting or attending trans-night prayers. and if someone is too selfish to give up their time and space, they should not reproduce. this is especially true for fathers who want to come home to a squeaky clean house when there is a toddler, those who are irritated by the sound of a crying baby in the middle of the night and those who expect that their wives will continue to give them undivided attention after giving birth. it might be impractical but people who want to be parents should be assessed on their level of preparedness. are they kind? are they upstanding citizens? are they protective? do they have basic financial requirements or are they reproducing like rabbits while the ones they have are malnourished and on the verge of infant mortality? those who do the vetting should even throw in referees from neighbours and local leaders. maybe if people were vetted, we would have fewer children who grow up feeling unloved and unwanted. there would be fewer stories of mothers who let their daughters get continuously molested by their stepfathers just because they don’t want to be single. there would be fewer stories of men who go around impregnating women without the intention to parent the children. there would be fewer children subjected to emotional, physical and mental torture by the people who are supposed to love them the most.
