You asked, and we delivered. Fine, maybe you didn't specifically ask, but let's not get bogged down in details. Here comes another Valentine's Day, and once again, you find yourself single as a pringle – just like the last time and the time before that. You've practically become a founding member of the God when? committee, surrounded by couples taking up challenge after challenge. Take the Her view, my view, My man, my man, my man, Proof that if he wanted to, he would challenges, and the more recent “Victor, you really did this?” one. The world seems to revel in testing your single status. But the holiday, with all its festivities and couples going overboard aren't disappearing anytime soon. You see, one thing about people in love is that they are very creative, always ready to set the next trend. Up until now, you might be tempted to label me as a hater. I probably am but that’s besides the point. So more to the point: what to do on Valentine's Day itself, amidst the sea of couples clutching roses at every restaurant table? Fear not, I come bearing solutions. Drop a comment under every couple's post saying I miss us. Commenting I miss us under every couple's post might seem like a daunting task, but as a single person, you're probably wondering what to do with your time anyway, right? Here's the game plan: we're going to spread a little communal misery, because, you know, misery loves company. Your mission? Find the cutest, happiest-looking couples on the internet, especially those who seem to have it all together. Then, drop that I miss us comment like clockwork. For an extra layer of creativity, throw in a Lol or smh to keep things open to interpretation. Now, the pièce de résistance – head over to your own page and slyly tweet, It's funny how men don't change. Voila! Can you see the big picture here? Treat yourself to a surprise Valentine's Day gift Why wait for someone else to spoil you when you can surprise yourself with a Valentine's gift? Sure, there are countless activities a single person could indulge in on a Wednesday night in Kigali City, but few things beat the thrill of sending yourself some flowers and a heartfelt note brimming with sweet prose. And the best part? It's a secret just between you and... well, you. Nobody’s gonna know. How would they know? Opt for the classic combo of flowers and chocolates, or choose something more personalized. And here's a little pro tip: the more lavish the gift, the more attention you're bound to attract. To really up the ante, enlist a few friends to capture the moment on video as you walk into the room, ready to be dazzled by your own thoughtful gesture. And if you can manage to add a heartfelt ah followed by a few tears, well, that's just taking self-love to a whole new level. Help your friend's significant other in planning a surprise for them Alright, so you might feel a tad pathetic, but again, what are you doing with your life? You’ve already done all that endless scrolling through Pinterest, vetoing lingerie sets (not that there's anything wrong with them if your friend is into it). You diligently sent these suggestions to the boyfriend, only to be met with the dreaded response: Below budget. Back to the drawing board you went, determined to match his taste and budget with the perfect present. You went above and beyond. But here's where it gets interesting – you didn't just let this opportunity slip by. Oh no, you snuck in one or two gifts that reflect your own taste, not necessarily your friend's. After all, your friend's boyfriend owes you big time – and then some. So, when your friend encounters her surprise, you're surprised too, because your little touch is in there. It's a win-win, right? Stay judging couples’ gifts on social media Ah, the joy of judging gifts on social media – a fun pastime, especially when you're single on Valentine's Day. When you spot those gift posts, go ahead and drop some laughing emojis or a lol – it's a subtle way to show you're entertained by their sometimes-questionable choices. If you're in the company of your fellow single friends, swap stories. Remember that year you got a card and a fake rose? Classic! And if nostalgia doesn't quite hit the spot, share awful dating stories. Think about all the silly labels and pressure couples face – it's a reminder that single life isn't so bad. Reflect on your life and contemplate your single status Why are you single? And not just single, but for the past five years now? It's a ponderous thought, isn't it? While I may be tempted to berate you for your apparent lack of romantic conquests, let's take a moment to consider the possibilities. Perhaps you’re simply focusing on self-improvement, dedicating time and energy to becoming the best version of yourself. Yes, that must be it – you love the man/woman you are becoming. Or, dare I say it, maybe you’re just a devoted aficionado of Korean dramas – after all, I know a fellow fan when I see one. It's understandable; those romantic storylines can make reality pale in comparison. But, deep down, you know that if you genuinely didn't care about your single status, you wouldn't be reading this article right now. And there you have it, folks – your ultimate guide to navigating Valentine's Day as a single person. No need for thanks, consider it all part of the service. Some of these suggestions might appeal to you. Others might not. But you're here, aren't you? And that's what counts.
