What would you do if, a week after your wedding, you came across a video where someone passionately declares their undying love to their partner, at what appears to be a wedding reception, only to realize that every word they're saying is strikingly similar to the vows your spouse recited to you on your own wedding day? And oh, their wedding took place long before yours. Whether for you that's enough grounds for divorce or just another joke to laugh about, many people may argue that wedding vows don't even have to be original in the first place. ALSO READ: Are customary marriage rituals on verge of extinction? Traditionally, wedding officiants have been known to help with the full wedding ceremony, including the wedding vows. This is particularly true in Christian churches where fidelity and lifelong commitment, among other values mentioned in the Bible, are expected to be incorporated into the vows. In Western culture, which has been widely adopted globally as a result of colonialization, the exchange of vows is closely tied to the Christian marriage ceremony that dates back to medieval times. The Book of Common Prayer, first published in 1549 during the English Reformation, standardized the use of traditional vows that are still popular today. ALSO READ: Lavish weddings: Are they the beginning of 'until poverty do us apart' vows? This standardized approach works well for some couples, while others prefer to personalize or create their own vows, a trend that has become increasingly popular in recent years. However, many people struggle with writing their heartfelt emotions for such an important occasion. Some may find themselves unable to put their thoughts into words, while others may write extensively or even improvise at the altar. Interestingly, the internet has made it easier for couples to find inspiration for their vows. Some may use pre-written vows as a starting point, drawing from various sources such as literature, movies, or poetry. With the internet, the possibilities are just endless. It may become problematic, however, if someone is discovered to have plagiarized their vows, while their partner thought them to be original. For instance, Nadia Merci Cyuzuzo, recently married, believes the whole idea of dodging the church's pre-written vows is for one to express themselves, in their own original words, expressing their own feelings and promises. She explained that she would be fine if her partner chose pre-written vows, as long as they were open about it. However, she views undisclosed copied vows as a form of betrayal, raising concerns about honesty and trust in the relationship. If they can lie about such insignificant details, what tells me, they are to be honest with everything else? she asked. Odilon Bruno Gatare, married for three years, also agreed that it is important to inform one's partner in case they choose not to write their original vows. However, he believes that the specific vows themselves are not significant in the grand scheme of things, as weddings are primarily ceremonial. What truly matters is how the couple treats each other and builds their life together after the wedding,” he said. On the other hand, Micheline Umurerwa Wabo, a mother of two who has been married for seven years, prefers to stick with the church's pre-written vows. She understands that not everyone finds it easy to express their deepest emotions, especially on such an overwhelming day as their wedding. According to her, standardized vows are much more reliable. Historically, the practice of writing personal vows emerged in the mid-19th century as a way to rebel against traditional norms and conservative religious constraints. People wanted to transform the wedding vow tradition into something more personal, meaningful, symbolic, and special. Those who share the sentiment agree that marriage vows are crucial, as they publicly announce the intentions and commitment that one plans to uphold in their union. However, it's also important to acknowledge the challenge of summing up one's love and promises into a few minutes of spoken words. Considering the enduring relevance of marriage vows, it would then be helpful to have a guideline on how to write them; to assist those who choose to craft their own vows, offering direction and preventing confusion caused by copying vows from external sources. Here are five simple steps you can follow to write your wedding vows: Begin by expressing who your partner is to you. For example, you can say, You are my... Continue by describing what you love about your partner. What drew you to them? What qualities made you fall in love? To add a personal touch, incorporate a special story or inside joke that is meaningful to both of you. This will make your vows unique and specific to your relationship. Make promises that reflect the type of relationship you want to have. These promises can be romantic, humorous, or traditional, depending on what you consider important for a strong and lasting marriage. Conclude your vows with the ultimate promise: forever. You can choose to use a traditional ending like Until death do us part, or express your excitement to spend the rest of your life with your partner.
