During my sister's recent burial, the presiding pastor remarked that death was a concept that human beings never accepted yet an inevitable event in one's life that we must plan for through good deeds and building a legacy of memories after one's demise. Upon death, human beings hold several ceremonies befitting the send-off of a loved one where everybody comes in support and that is where the most genuine love is felt in the form of hugs, consolation, and material support for the bereaved family. Most of the words of comfort centre around God and His plan for our lives and mourners tend to agree due to the utter helplessness they feel at the time of one's permanent departure from this world. Humans, being more intelligent than other creatures, can understand and explain most of nature's concepts including the anatomy of their bodies and sickness but some incurable diseases like cancer seem to have taken a toll on humanity due to the risk of death associated with them. How can one handle a painful situation like cancer up to the point of death? I have witnessed the painful fight my deceased sister endured to the end, and I will share a few insights that have since changed my perspective of life. 1. You need your faith to face the uncertain days ahead Not only do you need God in the worst situations, but you need Him daily to fight life's battles and to give you direction. As a Christian, my sister gave her life to Christ and was duly baptised well ahead of her difficult days. We prayed for her healing, but the final decision was with God who granted her eternal rest after a tough and painful journey with cancer. My children kept asking me whether their late aunt's spirit was in her house, but I told them that her spirit is in heaven enjoying the afterlife. Of course, some concepts are not easy to explain to children. They asked if she was missing us, and I assured them not that much because life was so good up there with God and Jesus. Now they pray daily because of that assurance. 2.You need to plan ahead When my sister got her diagnosis (all along she was organised financially and otherwise), she cleared all her dues, especially loans and started the process of seeking treatment, even abroad, seeking all avenues possible to have the expenses catered for. 3.You need family and friends by your side This is not a journey that you can embark on alone. You need your family, friends, spiritual family, neighbours, workmates etc. The support received during my sister's sickness was immense. One of our aunties left her own family and business, shifting to be by her side and care for her until her demise. Our brother and sister who resides in the United States, during her first treatment, left their homes and jobs to be with her and ensured her safe flight back home when she was in a critical condition. And the family and friends back home cared for her in unison until she was back in shape and left for India, where she fought bravely until her last breath. 4. Put your house in order Writing a will in the absence of obvious successors should not be a thing to put off until your health is uncertain because we work to make our dependents' lives better. My sister's example is one to be emulated. She had put her house in order and thought of those that would benefit from her hard work, both when she was living and after her death. She also had a dream to support orphans, widows and the vulnerable and someday the family will set up a fund for this. 5. What legacy will you leave behind? Just like our late father, Gaspard Gasana, who created a legacy that we still live by 33 years after his death, my sister led a life of influence from her early days where she was the most admired big sister, daughter, niece, cousin, student, friend, and leader. The testimonies shared as we bade her farewell attest to this. Grace, or GG as we fondly called her, led many professional projects to success, like the Farmer-to-Farmer coordination in various agriculture development NGOs like Catholic Relief Service, while she influenced her students to have a leadership mindset during her days as a university lecturer at the former KIST, SFB, and Umutara Polytechnic. She also led many associations, the most remarkable ones being the Netherlands Institute of Social Studies, ISS Alumni whom she served as the scholars' president and Makerere University Rwanda Alumni (MURWA) where she was board vice chairperson up until her demise. Her colleagues in these groups showed her and her family love in our time of need. I wish also to extend our heartfelt appreciation to the Rwandan High Commission in New Delhi, India, which helped expedite the repatriation of Grace’s remains from India back to her home country for a dignified farewell by her family and friends. However, it is important to point out that cancer is not a death sentence. I may have used the example of my sister who eventually lost the battle despite putting up a brave fight, but there are many cancer survivors out there – who are also living legends. The writer is the late Grace Gasana's sister.
