As the world marks the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), it’s time to address the harmful practices and myths that keep the GBV flame burning. This article aims to debunk misconceptions and shed light on the harmful beliefs that contribute to the perpetuation of GBV, drawing on research from credible sources such as the World Health Organization (WHO), the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion (MIGEPROF), and other global networks. ALSO READ: Gender-based violence against men: A silent crisis Prepare to call out these myths for what they are – nonsense! If you believe in these myths, you might as well be handing out GBV Club membership cards. “It is the victim’s fault if they’re abused/raped” One perpetuating myth surrounding GBV is the idea that it is the victim’s fault for experiencing abuse or rape. This not only places blame on victim but also absolves the perpetrator of responsibility. ALSO READ: Gender-based violence: Why the vice is still a thorn in gender equality drive Understanding that no one deserves to be abused or violated, regardless of their actions, appearance, or circumstances, would emphasise the importance of consent, changing the misconception that victims are somehow responsible for the violence inflicted upon them. “‘Normal’ families in a household do not experience abuse” Another prevalent myth is the notion that abuse only occurs in dysfunctional households. This in turn discourages individuals from reporting domestic violence, fearing they will be seen as ‘abnormal’ or weak. In reality, GBV can affect any household, irrespective of socioeconomic status or outward appearance. By dispelling this myth, we can create a safe space for open dialogue and support, encouraging those experiencing abuse to seek help without judgment or stigmatisation. ALSO READ: GBV misconceptions responsible for violence against men - Gender Monitor “Only women experience gender-based violence” Gender-based violence is not an exclusive plague for women. Contrary to popular perception, gender-based violence affects people of all genders. The latest Rwanda Demographic and Health Survey showed that both women and men experience physical, sexual, and psychological violence. Nevertheless, the issue of GBV against men often remains hidden due to societal stereotypes and underreporting. “Men have the right to control their wives’ behaviour and discipline them” As a proper Gen Z would say, POV the 1950s called, and they want their outdated beliefs back! Violence against women is not a twisted form of relationship goals. It reinforces power imbalances within relationships and justifies abusive behaviour. Violence against women is a human rights violation, regardless of any perceived ‘provocation’. “Intimate partner violence victims can leave if they want to” Victims and survivors of intimate partner violence often face numerous barriers that prevent them from leaving, including financial dependency, lack of support networks, fear of further violence, and psychological manipulation from their abusers. It’s important to understand that leaving an abusive relationship is a complex and challenging process that requires empathy and comprehensive support systems. “Gender-based violence only includes physical abuse” GBV encompasses various forms of violence, not just physical abuse. Emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse can be equally damaging and traumatic. Recognising the full spectrum of GBV allows for comprehensive efforts to prevent and address violence in all its manifestations. “Women love violent partners” This harmful myth suggests that some women are drawn to abuse or enjoy it, perpetuating victim-blaming and minimising the responsibility of abusers. They are not masochistic; they endure violence due to complex dynamics, power imbalances, fear, or lack of resources. No one actively seeks out abusive relationships, and it is the abuser who bears the responsibility for their actions. “Violence is a private family matter; everyone else should mind their business” GBV is not a private issue, and by perpetuating a culture of silence, we enable abusers to carry on. Families and communities must intervene, support victims, and actively work towards preventing and addressing GBV. “Wives need to obey their in-laws” Harsh treatment from in-laws shouldn’t be a marital norm, this is the 21st century, not a medieval drama! This harmful belief perpetuates unequal power dynamics within families and contributes to GBV. Respectful and equitable relationships should replace traditional roles that reinforce patriarchal norms and devalue women’s autonomy and inherent worth. “Sex workers can’t suffer rape because they are ‘selling sex’ anyway” The Rwandan law explicitly states that, regardless of a person’s profession, job, appearance, or consent to engage in sexual acts, forcing anyone into any form of sexual act against their will constitutes rape. No distinction should be made based on occupation or any other factors. All individuals, irrespective of their background or circumstances, deserve equal human rights and protection from violence. “Women shouldn’t deny their partner sex” Consent doesn’t go out of the window once you say, “I do”. The myth that women cannot deny their male partner’s sex perpetuates the harmful idea that consent is not essential in marriages. Yet, everyone has the right to make decisions about their own body, sexual intimacy, and boundaries at any time, whether married or not. “Divorced or widowed women have less value” This myth often stigmatises divorced or widowed women, undermining their worth and subjecting them to discrimination, abuse, or neglect. Every person, regardless of their marital status, deserves respect, dignity, and equal opportunities.
