When Peace Mbabazi was baptised, her parents chose a woman they entrusted with nurturing and mentoring her into a spiritual and responsible young lady. Her parents’ trust did not go to waste. Today, Mbabazi attributes her success and general outlook to life to her godmother’s love, commitment and guidance. But that was 30 years ago. Today, Mbabazi is a mother and feels that god parents are a far cry from what they used to be in the past. Looking back, she observes that most godparents, including those who are good Christians, are consumed by the knocks life, work, studies or family schedules. “Of course it’s different from how it used to be in the past. I remember my godmother was really involved in my life. She travelled a lot but whenever she came back, she would come and pick me from my parents’ house, spend time with me, take me to church and teach me different things. Today is different. They first of all don’t have enough time for their own children or family, how do you expect them to remember a godchild?” she wonders. David Anjinchi agrees but blames the changes on how people seem to have lost sight of the importance that should be attached to choosing a particular person to be their child’s godparent. “There is certain criterion that has to be met for one to be a godparent and that is where the differences of godparents of then and of now come in. Nowadays, godparents are mostly like close friends of the parents while in the olden days, they had to fit criteria set by the church or by the parents’ faith,” he says. Geoffrey Kamali is in his late 30s and says that he has godparents that have never been involved in his life in any way, having last been in touch about ten years ago. He says that the roles need to be clearer. “I chose all my children’s godparents, except one who was chosen by my wife. One of them only gets in touch once in a while. I think the concept of godparenting roles has not been clear and perhaps need to be defined to those undertaking the roles. While I know the roles are mentioned on baptism, they are never emphasised,” he says. Dianah Mugabekazi is a 29-year-old mother of three. She says that if it was possible, she would have wanted her godparents to be her children’s godparents. “They have had time for me, nurtured me, and not a week goes by without a call from them which is so different from what I see with today’s godparents. They don’t have time for their own children. It doesn’t surprise me that some even forget that they are godparents,” she says. Clementine Gihozo is happy about the choices she made when choosing the godparents of her children, and is convinced that the two people will have a positive impact on them. “I chose my sister in law’s husband and my brother in-law. These people are God fearing and love my kids. If something happened to me today, I am sure that they would take care of them. I didn’t want to choose absentee godparents and my children are lucky,” she says. In 2002, Patricia Uwineza became a godmother for the first time and the reverend at her church took her through what she was expected of. “I was responsible for the child’s spiritual life but what I discovered is that people no longer take this as seriously as it used to be. Can you believe that that family left the neighborhood without even saying goodbye?” she says. Pastor Andrew Mukinisha, a pastor at Christian Life Assembly (CLA), said he was raised in a Catholic church and had godparents but today, his church does not believe in the norm. “We don’t practice it because among other reasons, we don’t see its precedence in the bible. We expect parents to take full responsibility of the spiritual upbringing of their children,” he says. Pastor Mukinisha thinks that the issue of godparents was mostly for formality and is something that is adhered to mostly by people from traditional churches. “Of course there are godparents who take this seriously and are 100 per cent involved in the child’s life but that is in some denominations, especially traditional churches. In charismatic Pentecostal evangelical churches it isn’t,” he says. Eugene Nshongozabahizi is a pastor at the Anglican Church in Kacyiru. He told The New Times that the process to choose a godfather usually begins with the parents, the church only comes in at the end. “What happens is that we have some teaching that is designed for the child and the parents. After that, the parents choose the child’s godparents and they too are invited to the church to get some lessons,” he says. Asked if the role of godparents has changed over the years, Pastor Nshongozabahizi says that he cannot rule out that some parents choose godparents based on their sentiments, but his church’s responsibility was to bring those ones who had been chosen up to the task. “If we realise that the person chosen for that role is not ready, we invest extra effort in the teachings, and really prepare them for the task ahead because we take this very seriously,” he says. Has a lot changed? Of course. For the task at hand to have significance, it is important to concentrate and invest more thought in who we choose to nurture and guide our offsprings. The effort we also put in nudging them into the right direction also matters. The rest are just details. editorial@newtimes.co.rw ****************************************** How to choose a godparent Choosing a godparent for your child is an important decision, because the person you choose will be responsible for providing guidance and life lessons to your child. The person you choose as a godparent will have a significant role in your child’s life. Know how to choose a godparent by considering a few important factors about the candidates. Make a list. One tool that will help in the process of choosing a godparent is a list of the positive and negative qualities of the person you’re considering. Make a list of the character traits, values and accomplishments you admire about the person along with any undesirable elements that you wouldn’t want your child exposed to. Having these characteristics written down in black and white will help you weigh out what’s important. Know how involved you want him or her to be. Appoint a godparent based on what role you want him or her to play in the life of your child. If you want the godparent to offer religious guidance, life lessons or to be the child’s guardian in the event of your death, the candidate you select should be someone willing to accept this role and responsibility. Choose someone with similar values. Pick a godparent that has similar moral and ethical values as you do. This will provide your child with a consistent positive influence and moral compass that aligns with the core values you’re trying to instill. Look within your family. Consider choosing a godparent from within your family, like a sibling or cousin. There could be a stronger bond between your child and the godparent if the two are from the same family and the child will potentially see the godparent more regularly at family functions. Consider logistics. It’s important to choose a godparent that will get to see and interact with your child on a regular basis, because this will allow the godparent to provide the leadership and guidance you want him or her to give your child. Choose a godparent that is geographically close to you and your child so the two of them can stay in contact. Select someone dependable. The godparent you choose should be someone with a relatively stable life and strong sense of personal responsibility that can be counted on to attend important functions like baptisms and graduations and to interact with the child often. Choose someone you trust with your child that is responsible. Ask your clergy leader. Discuss the selection of a godparent with your minister or clergy leader. You might find that the godparent you wish to appoint is a member of your congregation. The clergy leader will be able to help you determine what characteristics are most important in the godparent you choose. Agencies ****************************************** YOUR VOICE: Are godparents still significant? Austin Luwano, artist/radio presenter Austin Luwano I think that they are relevant but they don’t hold the same value as they did say, 20 years ago. These days we just name godparents for the sake of it but we don’t seem to understand the roles of a godparent. A godparent is supposed to love and care for the child like their own, but these days it’s mostly just a title. Genevieve Mbabazi, civil servant Genevieve Mbabazi A godparent plays an important role and it should be a role undertaken by someone who will offer encouragement, prayer and support for the child and help them discover more about the Christian faith. Not all godparents are as dedicated to the task anymore, but I still would have them for my child because I know they are necessary. It’s up to a parent to choose someone who is going to benefit the child. It’s best that you choose from your family, because family is for forever. Charles Kwizera, journalist Charles Kwizera, It has totally lost meaning. Godparents in the past used to follow up the children on a regular basis and get involved in their lives, know everything about them. Today, everyone thinks about themselves and their children. No one has time for that stuff anymore. So why bother looking for godparents? However, not all hope is lost; there are people out there especially those in the generation before ours who still value such things. If I were to look for a godparent, I would go for the older folks who understand what it means. Davis Mugisha, security personnel Davis Mugisha Godparents are very important in our kids’ lives because they act as spiritual parents to them, that is; if you choose the right ones. In my opinion, I think one should choose a godparent not just because of a blood relationship or friendship but rather, based on how trustworthy and God-fearing they are. Compiled by Nasra Bishumba
