During this year’s Igihango cy’Urungano, an annual forum that commemorates the youth killed during the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, and brings together young people and officials, a diverse group of youth from across Rwanda gathered in Gisagara District, on June 9, to share their stories and experiences of life after the Genocide.

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The forum provides an opportunity for young people to reflect on their role in protecting and preserving the progress made in Rwanda since the Genocide, as well as to promote the concept of Ndi Umunyarwanda, a shared national identity. The forum also gives them a platform to discuss the challenges they face and their personal journeys towards embracing a common identity.

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A bright future

Born after the Genocide, Willy Maurice Mukiza’s upbringing was far from ordinary. His father abandoned the family when Mukiza was still young, fleeing the country to join the genocidal group FDLR in DR Congo— leaving him, his mother, and his siblings in a state of constant fear. They were afraid of being viewed as complicit in their father’s actions, or of being ostracised by the wider community due to their complex family history.

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Despite Mukiza’s efforts to study hard in school, he often felt like he didn’t deserve good grades. He was plagued by feelings of guilt, in regard to the history of ethnic quotas that had characterised the education system in pre-Genocide Rwanda. He was constantly waiting for a time he would be caught up by history.

One particularly poignant memory for Mukiza was when he received the best marks in his district in a national exam. He should have received a prize - a laptop - from the government, but it never got to him. Mukiza was convinced that he had been passed over due to his ethnicity. He decided to confide in his mother, who accompanied him to the Rwanda Education Board’s office to investigate. As it turned out, Mukiza had simply switched schools after the exam, and the laptop had been sent to the wrong place.

As Mukiza continued to excel academically, he realised that his background had never held him back. He received a presidential scholarship to attend the University of Rwanda and continued to achieve at a high level. He came to understand that the truth about Rwanda’s complicated past wasn’t solely rooted in history books and official records; it was woven into the everyday fabric of life in the country. Mukiza now strives to inspire other young people to embrace their Rwandan identities and to work towards a brighter, more unified future for Rwanda.

Finding strength in opening up

Aline Umurizaboro was born as a result of rape during the Genocide, and her mother despised her from the start. Despite family members encouraging her to abort, her mother refused to do so due to her Christian beliefs and a desire to avoid becoming like those who had committed atrocities against her own family. However, she still experienced intense feelings of hatred towards her child and was sometimes abusive towards her.

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Growing up, Umurizaboro struggled to understand why her mother was so cold and distant towards her. She was left to fend for herself at a young age, while also caring for her mother’s physical wounds from the Genocide. To silence Umurizaboro’s questions about why she didn’t have a father, her mother told her that her father had died.

It wasn&039;t until 2007 that Umurizaboro learned the full, heart-wrenching truth about her origin. In spite of the pain and betrayal she felt, she chose to extend grace and forgiveness to her mother. She battled feelings of shame and anger but ultimately decided to embark on a journey of healing and growth. This included accepting that she would never know who her father was, as well as reconciling with her mother and other family members who had expressed hate towards her.

Over time, Umurizaboro developed a positive relationship with her mother, who got married and had a new family. She finds strength in sharing her story and fighting against genocide denial. She has also worked to form healthy relationships and nurture a sense of belonging and purpose in her life.

Embracing Ndi umunyarwanda

Born in 1999, Chantal Umuhoza’s mother was still reeling from the devastating effects of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. Her mother had lost her husband and three children and was left with only one surviving child.

In an attempt to rebuild her life, she got into a relationship with a man whose background would later shock and devastate her. As it turns out the man—Umuhoza’s father—was a Genocide perpetrator. Being in a different environment, no one recognised him. It wasn’t until after Umuhoza was born, that her brother found out he was being sought for his crimes.

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They separated and he was later arrested and tried in the Gacaca courts for his role in the Genocide, and imprisoned. This left Umuhoza’s mother isolated and mistreated by some of her extended family who couldn’t understand how she had fallen in love with a perpetrator.

Umuhoza and her older half-sister were raised under difficult circumstances, with a traumatised mother who now didn’t trust anyone. They were forbidden from making friends, kept under strict surveillance, and never allowed to stay out long. As a result, Umuhoza turned inward, becoming a shy and hesitant child who had trouble interacting with others. The commemoration period would be particularly difficult as her mother’s moods were constantly changing, adding another layer of complexity to the already challenging situation.

Despite the challenges, Umuhoza found a path forward through education, where she came to understand the complexities and contradictions that had contributed to her own upbringing, and resolved to help others do the same.

Today, she is a teacher at a lower-level secondary school, sharing her knowledge and experience with a new generation of young adults. She believes that by understanding the facts of the past and embracing Ndi Umunyarwanda, a different legacy can be forged for future generations.

Despite the challenges she has faced, Umuhoza remains grateful for her mother’s love and bravery in the face of unimaginable hardship.