Charisma and Chivalry is not dead in the dating game

Contrary to popular belief, winning a girl over cannot be accomplished by throwing things at her and calling her all sorts of names.  That is what elementary school boys do because they think being mean, would get them the girl. And maybe it worked but things have changed. If men are going to be popular and successful in their dating life, they need to learn to speak to women.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Contrary to popular belief, winning a girl over cannot be accomplished by throwing things at her and calling her all sorts of names.

That is what elementary school boys do because they think being mean, would get them the girl. And maybe it worked but things have changed. If men are going to be popular and successful in their dating life, they need to learn to speak to women.

Humans are social beings and are not meant to live alone and isolated; this is why it is imperative to learn how to effectively communicate with women. For some it comes naturally while others, well let us just say, it is a complete disaster.

Although there are no fixed ways on how to start a conversation with a girl, men really need to steer clear of past approaches because chances are they are worn out. Truth is, girls may not be falling for it anymore. Also, do not attempt to use the same sheepish line that left you soaked in wine the last time you used it.

There is no need to change your personality or have a complete one either. If you did not know this about women, now I am telling you; women like men with a little mystery—something to leave them curious about. Do not be too mysterious though lest, she thinks you are a spy or something.

Be charismatic, not clumsy in other words, be smooth. Okay, charisma is not something that descends on anyone every morning, but people can certainly try to act charismatic because you cannot go wrong with charisma. Moreover, the good news is, you do not have to look like Denzel Washington to be charismatic.

Confidence will see you through the complete dating ordeal and most likely get you a second date. Nothing appeals more to a woman than a confident man. However, confidence does not mean arrogance and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to talk your head off the whole time about what an amazing life you live.

Do not fear rejection. Some men have egos the size of Africa and do not take too kindly to rejection. However, men must understand that good women do not hop into their cars after two minutes of introduction! Besides, if you are determined on seeing her beautiful face every morning, the chase should be fun.

Whatever you do, do not say things like ‘hot body’ or ‘sexy lips’ or anything that will make her think you are only physically interested in her. Rather, ask her about what she does and things she likes. That is a sign of someone interested in a woman and not what is on her.

Chivalry is not dead. Therefore, it will not kill a man to show a woman a little courtesy. Pull a chair out for her at dinner, drop her home (and you don’t need to have a car for that) simply get a cab and let it drop her off first. Call to see that she is okay incase a lunatic broke into her home.

Try not to overdo it as this is the 21st Century; sometimes doing too much for a girl can lead to a very heated discussion about equal rights and gender equality. I am just saying show that you love your woman in a way that does not suggest you are controlling her or sucking up to her either, since no woman wants a slave or a robot for a boyfriend.

Now go get that her!

rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk