Relationships: Why awaken regret?

In my primary five, we had a drunkard for a teacher. Every time he was high, he came to class and told us that, “had I known is a consolation of a fool.”As kids in class, we hardly made sense of what he said but instead laughed at this joke he made in his drunken state.Several years later, I came to understand what my teacher really meant. This was at a difficult time when I faced unavoidable circumstances.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Crying over spilt milk? Moving on after a break up, is a sign of maturity. Net Photo

In my primary five, we had a drunkard for a teacher. Every time he was high, he came to class and told us that, "had I known is a consolation of a fool.”

As kids in class, we hardly made sense of what he said but instead laughed at this joke he made in his drunken state.

Several years later, I came to understand what my teacher really meant. This was at a difficult time when I faced unavoidable circumstances.

It beats my understanding when someone decides to let go of something important and then later regret why they did so. They search for every imaginable excuse to retrieve that which was lost.

I had a friend called Cathy who fell in love with a boy called Richard. He was neither rich nor poor. He was such a nice guy and any average woman would not hesitate from dating him, for he was graced with the gift of love.

He was so kind, loving and very passionate. Cathy was one of the lucky girls; if not the luckiest in our circle of friends because she had the most vibrant relationship.

Her life was at its happiness; she enjoyed every bit of the love they shared. Every day of her life, she wore a smile that would melt away anyone’s fears. However this period of bliss was short lived.

Richard met someone else who for some reason made him call the shots. They parted ways and he claimed it was hard truth that he did not love her any more—besides the absence of his love for Cathy, he had no other reason. Cathy was left with no option, but to hurtfully accept this difficult decision.

Heartbroken, she moved on. She regained her strength and allowed her heart to heal. In brief she moved on, not for a short distance, she made amazing strides during her healing process.

Cathy aura is enigmatic; she is vibrant in her ways and loved by many. Unfortunately, like ghosts from the past, Richard has set on a path to snail his way into her life. He says his expectations were not fulfilled in his other relationship. Such absurdity is unspeakable.

This brings me to the question so many women today face; why don’t men first weigh and compare the options in their relationship before saying it’s over?

When lovers decide to break up, they need to come to a place where they understand the meaning of letting go. ‘Had I known’ is indeed a consolation of a fool when it comes to relationships.

It is important that ex’s give each other breathing space. The habit of returning with regrets over spilt milk especially, if you are the cause of the breakup is so annoying and irritating.  No person in this world fancies getting caught up between such immature indecision.

Most cases, when a woman has moved on, it’s next to impossible for her to look back especially when there was no reason for her to be thrown out.

I laugh at all this squirmy behavior portrayed by exes who believe that they own women. The saying that, "Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned,’ holds true in several relationships involving the dumping of a woman. In such a scenario, how can trust be rebuilt; after all, chance knocks once.

Every time a man comes begging for what he previously rubbished, then such a man has a character that is far from desirable.

jacqueuwera@yahoo.com