Insights : Adjustment –key to happiness

‘Adjustment’ is the ability to alter slightly to obtain desired results. There can be desired alterations in a house, office or dress. But the most important of all and much needed is the alteration or adjustments with fellow human beings.  Many problems arise at home or work places because of failure of adjustment on the part of people. Many close relations break forever due to maladjustment between 2 or more people.

Friday, November 05, 2010

‘Adjustment’ is the ability to alter slightly to obtain desired results. There can be desired alterations in a house, office or dress. But the most important of all and much needed is the alteration or adjustments with fellow human beings.

Many problems arise at home or work places because of failure of adjustment on the part of people. Many close relations break forever due to maladjustment between 2 or more people.  In a family   2   members staying   under one roof may live like strangers or enemies, simply because they cannot adjust with one another. Sometimes, 2 colleagues stay forever at loggerheads just because they fail to adjust among themselves.

Now what do such people gain out of it? Nothing, except constant mental stress due to the persistent ill feeling they harbour towards another person or persons. Some of them try playing politics by   involving other people to take "sides”   but little do they realize that no third person would be genuinely interested in interfering in petty squabbles and animosity of 2 grown up people. 

 Capability of adjustment is also one of the indicators of the mental and social health of an individual. The definition of health by W.H.O. includes   mental as well as social health. Social health meaning how well a person adjusts in society at home, in office, with friends and relatives.

Due to   maladjustment by people, disputes and controversies arise leading to mutual ill will, hatred   and even armed conflicts.

There are multiple reasons as to why people fail to adjust to their surroundings. First and foremost is   ego. Individuals with strong egos consider themselves to be superior to others and try to look down upon others. Due to sheer arrogance, they do not want to talk to other persons unless they consider them as equals.  Such persons need to realize that they are a drop in this vast   ocean of humanity. Even if they are highly skilled or highly placed, there are millions like them in this world.
 
Ethnic and racial bias also prevents   many people from mixing up very well. This is also a delusion of grandeur   existing, with practically every ethnic or religious group considering themselves to be superior to another one. This is due to ignorance   on part of people and   divisive teachings by some politicians and clergy for their own vested interests.  People around the world have to learn that all human beings are equal   and all religions teach love and brotherhood.

Jealousy is yet another factor which prevents individuals from mixing freely with others. If they are jealous with someone, they will constantly bicker about that person, try to pick faults and avoid talking to them cordially. It is said that if you want to reduce a line, draw a bigger line instead of trying to rub it. Meaning if you feel jealous of someone’s accomplishments, try to do better than them, instead of getting jealous.

At times individuals   grow up in families where parents are separated or the family is estranged from the grandparents or other relatives over petty issues. The youngsters   in the family consider this to be the norm and behave the same when they grow up. Nobody remains a child for life.  While growing up, these youngsters do look around and see the world. They should observe other well adjusted and happy families and try to improve the estranged relations with an unbiased mind.

Everybody likes sugar and salt in their food because they mix very well with the dish and enhance the flavour. Nobody likes the presence of grovel or sand in their food because it spoils the meal making it totally unpalatable. Same is the case with man. A person who adjusts everywhere remains happy and also makes everybody around happy.  A non adjusting person while making others feel uncomfortable remains unhappy themselves. 
Therefore one should learn to adjust with other people whatever may be the place or circumstances.  No 2 persons are alike in thoughts and intelligence and one should learn to respect this difference. Adjustment is a sure key to happiness for all.

Only thing needed is the will to do so, respect and tolerance for others’ views and a heart large enough to consider the situation from the view of others.

E-mail-rachna212002@yahoo.co.uk