Coping with loss of a loved one

In life we face all odds including the loss of our beloved ones and in most cases the most difficult thing is to cope with the fact that one of us is gone forever. Many people have different ways of coping with the effects of the loss of a loved one; they retaliate, live in denial, resentment and anger; however it’s important to understand that these are part of the normal healing process.

Friday, November 05, 2010
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In life we face all odds including the loss of our beloved ones and in most cases the most difficult thing is to cope with the fact that one of us is gone forever.

Many people have different ways of coping with the effects of the loss of a loved one; they retaliate, live in denial, resentment and anger; however it’s important to understand that these are part of the normal healing process.

Those who succeed are always the resilient ones who eventually come to terms with this season of life.
Rebecca Martine, a 20-year-old woman from Kibungo lost her younger brother a few months ago and explains how she coped up with the situation.

"After he died, what keeps me strong to this day is the fact that I will also die and that everybody will eventually die, every time I thought of this, my lost strength was rekindled,” Martine said.

"I believe that it is a normal season in which all of us must go through in life and this is what gives me reason not to worry.”

Several people have opted to get extremely busy as a way to avoid thinking about the painful past.
Theonesta Bavuga, a tailor at Giporoso, said that, "the best way to get over the problem is to get busy and get your mind occupied with constructive work instead of thinking about past events.”

Other people take to spiritual, emotional and physical exercises to relieve themselves from the stress that comes with painful memories.

Betty Uwera, a 30-year- old woman living in Kanombe said that, "I normally pray to God to help me forget; sometimes I swim, sleep or listen to music and normally when I do this I avoid stressful moments.”

"Death is inevitable and real and when it comes let us accept it and be reminded of hopes beyond the grave, don’t give yourself room for recollecting bitter memories of past events instead let your mind be occupied with thoughts of hope” Uwera said.

It is advisable that grieving people should stay in touch with friends, be active and cheer up because staying isolated and alone only gives room for unhealthy thoughts which can in turn become reason for illness.

As many have suggested, the best way is to accept the fact that they have lost someone and go on to find activities that contribute to relieving stress just like Uwera does.

When life gets you down keep looking up and instead of questioning why it had to happen think of it as normal and see the glass as half full and not half empty.

iruikmo@yahoo.com